Dispute monogamy for 5 more reasons

dispute monogamy I dispute monogamy and I hope that my monogamous brothers and sisters understand that it is not just the failures of monogamy that provoke the contempt, ever perceptible in my writing. The world is imperfect and I accept the imperfections of society, yet I do not condone bad ideals or a society that refuses to realize the good … Read More

Sex Education | Video with John Oliver

Sex EducationOnce again the inimitable John Oliver exposes the weakness of American abstinance sex eduducation and with humor at the end, offers his own sex education video.

Watch and enjoy.

 

 

 

Photo of John Oliver By TechCrunch – The 7th Annual Crunchies Awards on February 10, 2014 in San Francisco, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=45899540

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One sexually daring woman degraded by custom

sexually daringI want to respect the trial and error of a sexually daring woman who is now dead, and expose the all too common error for the sake of others. This writing is not merely a eulogy for a sexually daring woman whom I will refer to by her first name, these words are more than a remembrance for a Read More

Sex Power – Media Offering Vicarious Pleasure

sex powerWhat is sex power? It’s no trivial fact that almost every human being you meet  longs for sexual joy, and those who understand that fact have power. Unfortunately, shame, possessive-ness, questionable beliefs and the tendency to use people as a means place sex power in the hands of advertisers, religion, and people who are willing to take advantage or deceive. Our instinctive … Read More

Sex degraded by deceit

becoming-degradedThe cheating liar may or may not believe in monogamy, but they have the merit of seeing possibilities beyond monogamy. Their desire exists beyond the boundaries of their beliefs or pretense. The cheaters lip service to monogamy becomes a degradation of sexual affection outside of monogamy.

Someone who lies for the sake of having lovers tries to … Read More

Reform socially NOT politically

politics-sexBy Todd Vickers

Politics and sex can exist apart but those interested in sex should heed the 2016 election results. Since we shouldn’t rely on reforms in a conservative political environment, any change becomes a social not a political responsibility. The reasoning offered here also applies to issues beyond sexuality. Before talking about conscious social change let’s take a broad overview.

Any minority … Read More

Non monogamy, when prejudice hides envy

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If we deny opportunities to love because we can’t conceive living  beyond monogamy, we may, among other things, be suffering envy.

The idea that we cannot have something tempts us to say it’s ‘not worth having.’ This is often envy hiding behind a prejudice. Nobody but the person themself can confirm such envy and that takes a … Read More

Sexual deprivation and deceitful seduction

instinctive-joy2How many of our sexual beliefs result from conforming to or rebelling against arbitrary, indirect and unrelated suggestions? Things like a belief or a product that our sexuality could easily exist without.

Let’s consider letting go of sexual ideals as a compass and let morality be guided by joy and love rendered harmless through reason. How much sexual discovery exists beyond the things we habitually associate … Read More

What Desires Are Politically Important?

trump-appealWhat Desires Are Politically Important?

Bertrand Russell – Nobel Lecture

Your Royal Highness, Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have chosen this subject for my lecture tonight because I think that most current discussions of politics and political theory take insufficient account of psychology… Read more or listen to audio of the speech at nobelprize.org

Tonight I will be posting a … Read More

A monogamous irony

one-on-oneWould you like to see some different views that challenge beliefs about sex? We’ve got articles, videos, slide shows and memes you can peruse, contemplate, share and comment about. Consider a four part series discussing jealousy, or read about cathartic orgasms. What about going beyond rules in polyamory or how different non-monogamous people hold different views? We link to articles of interest and … Read More

Stop admiring hypocrites

Janus

We risk losing some opportunities telling the truth. Regardless, the growth of a seed in a consciously sewn garden is not retarded by noxious weeds and briers overtaking the blossoms and choking them with shadow.

“When we attempt to live consciously without monogamy we don’t solve possessiveness as a problem by adding more lovers to possess. Imposing the expectations left over from monogamy on non-monogamous … Read More

Facing facts, sex and climate change

Frog Viv adaptWhat do sex and climate change have in common? Both involve facts we sometimes feel tempted to ignore or alter them to suit our existing ideas.

Here is an excerpt from the Elephant Journal article Accepting Polyamory as Natural might help us to Accept Climate Change. {Adult}

Sometimes an experience outside of what we know changes our beliefs forever. At the age of 24, my beliefs … Read More

Slut shaming – How men can stop it

EJ Slut ShameAuthor Todd Vickers writes at Elephant Journal and looks critically at slut shaming.

The good things around sex often become mixed with a variety of useless pains. My heart weeps at the double messages spoon fed to all of us, especially women. We cannot be reminded too often what culture imposes on our lovers, mothers, sisters, … Read More

Controlling crowds with sex

sex controlling crowdsThose with influence and interest will try to deny access to rainwater and then either sell it back to us or use it for their own purposes. Sex controlling crowds is an old game through societal norms often born of religion, try to deny or restrict access to sex and then create alternate paths to get access. … Read More

Three reasons sex is confusing

sex is confusingSex doesn’t oppose truth. Delusion opposes truth. Delusion is different than having or not having sex.

  • People often withhold the truth and blankly lie about their sexuality. These faults blend with truths, some truth we speak plainly and others we say as a joke.  A smokescreen allows us to stay two-faced e.g. ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’
  • Our beliefs around sexuality may be contrary to … Read More
  • Ending sexual hypocrisy

    If you dislike hypocrisy, we should find each other.

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    Cheating and Honest Non-Monogamy

    pink vest2I recently shared food with two women who both cheated on past lovers and felt pain about their conduct. Both now live candidly in non-monogamous circumstances and feel better for the change. I know non-monogamous men who feel the same way. These people made moral judgements. Let’s not fear making such judgements, after all, we make them constantly when we weigh choices in terms of better or worse. … Read More

    Is Monogamy Over? A Reply

    TIMEcover girlsThe headline ‘Is monogamy over?’ emblazoned TIME Magazine’s September 21, 2015 issue.

    Feeling skeptical, I bought it. Its brevity trifled with the subject.

    Biologist David Barash has suggested that monogamy conflicts with our biology. However, he also states that child care recommends monogamy: “It’s very rare for any species to engage in bi-parental care unless the males are guaranteed that they are genetically related to … Read More

    5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

    Let’s Sketch of a Clasiclook at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas.

    Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses exist beyond monogamy.

    Many arguments against freer sexuality provoke fear and even persecution exemplified in slut shaming, honor killings and LGBT harassment.

    The discovery of trial and error expands our choices. Discovery also exposes our mistakes.

    For example, discovering what sex … Read More

    Mistaking Means for Ends in Love

    Having-or-notMistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane dream-world that murders affection. A commitment necessarily views people as means to some goal. Anything that we can commit to doing can be done without affection. Commitment is not love. We cannot promise to feel the same way tomorrow and be … Read More