Understanding relationships means understanding pain. This is vital if we wish to bring relief to useless suffering. To reduce useless pain is nurturing to love. But what does that actually mean?
Understand two sources of suffering.
One source is fact based, some event like a toothache, the loss of someone loved, … Read More
By Todd Vickers |
‘When born into a den of thieves, a Buddha learns to steal.’
We’re born into a Machiavellian world of love songs, stories, religion, ads, movies, half-truths and falsehoods about love. We’ve tasted failure. If there were no creativity in love, we would be loving like our ancestors. When expectations arise from the past, … Read More
We want love. Many of us will say that it’s one of the most important things in our lives. When we distinguish what we see in relationships from our sentiment ABOUT relationships, it seems that a great deal of what passes for love rests on fear: practical fears, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone. People confuse agreeable circumstances … Read More
“Who do you know who does not place a boundary around his love? We are afraid others will use us and that our desire for love makes us foolish. In deference to this fear, we try to be smart and use others in the name of love for our own ends. We become what we fear and keep … Read More
By Todd Vickers |
I use the phrase ‘friendly sex’ because the term ‘casual sex‘ is cliché, and leads to confusion. I suggest consenting pleasure is better when we include higher qualities in the affection. These qualities are not a function of time, they can happen quickly, slowly, or not at all. More on this later. Such love exists … Read More
Imagination is risky when we fill in the unknown. Below is an ancient allegory that exposes the mistake of thinking we know when we don’t.
“A man awakened before the sunrise. He decided to walk the path to work in the forest along the river in the dark. He walked the same path for years and he believed he knew it well enough … Read More