Todd Vickers Published at Street Articles
Excerpt below
“We miss higher values if we habitually (unconsciously) judge according to goals. A dear friend, who I will call Gregg, described meeting a young woman. On the couch, their honesty orbited sex. Her beauty induced his longing, but her unrealistic expectations stopped him. Their evening passed in intimate conversation only. Similar experiences made Gregg consider himself a sexual failure. I know his lovers personally so this conclusion made no sense. He’s a scrupulously honest, non-monogamous man. He judged himself against pretentious men who seduce women, often using lip service to expectations, including monogamy. I asked Gregg if he would imitate the less-than-honest men and he said, ‘NO’. Obviously, he valued integrity and affection as a whole more than any deceitful sexual conquest. He mistakenly judged himself using a lower standard, according to a goal. If goals become blinders, we miss the value truth adds to affection as a whole.” Read More at Street Articles…