How I Had A Big Ass Conversion

By Todd Vickers

At times, the wonders of curvy women seem overlooked. This regrettable fad harms both men and women and I hope my experience will help open some minds. However, stating any attraction to women involves sexist hazards, booby traps if you will. Sexism is real and serious but to use chauvinism as an epithet to explain away any discomfort trivializes the issue and disadvantages women. I discuss some of these views of misogyny here.

The women I thought sexy, growing up in late seventies culture, were like Farrah Fawcett, and other trim girls found in the issues of playboy magazine. At about ten years old, I rode with my father in a truck downtown and I saw his eyes follow the progress of a woman with a huge ass, he commented, “Shake-n-bake it baby!” I was horrified. I said emphatically, “but dad she’s fat!” He smiled and said quite humorously, “Let me tell you something son. People talk about this woman being beautiful and that woman being ugly. Just remember, when their butt is in the air, they are all beautiful.” If mom had been in the car, she would have reproached him, not for his exaggerated sentiments but for saying them aloud. Regardless I was still horrified, my ideas of beauty were very narrow. I was a born and bred disciple of pop culture.

Flash forward to nineteen eighty-three: I walked with friends in downtown Portland. Having as usual, ditched school, I was doubtlessly smoking shitty weed and meandering my broke-ass around doing nothing. I saw a woman with a huge ass getting into a car. My ever-present prejudice still firmly in place but still I did not take my eyes off her. I watched both captivated and repulsed. Then it happened and unto this day, what occurred remains in my memory, though vague from the mist of years. As the eyes of this awkward teenage boy rested on her bottom, she did something awe-inspiring that set my nerves on fire. This woman simply bent over to put packages in her car. Suddenly all 118 lbs of teen male filled with such desire that my ideas simply shattered! My thoughts of “sexy” fought like a mythical fallen angel, but far stronger was the longing for the gate of paradise, which I saw, with my own eyes. Desire that seemed to come from my blood heated the whole of my body and mind. Unlike an unreachable heaven, she stood just a few steps away. I neither said nor did anything but that event changed my mind and for that, I feel gratitude.

After this big ass conversion experience, I still desired slender women just not ONLY slender woman.  I am astonished to find myself at times NOT attracted to women, some who are quite beautiful.  My sexual impulse has no obligation to obey any preconceived ideas belonging to others or even myself. For me, excepting a good reason to do otherwise, any woman who wishes to receive or provoke my desire has a claim on that desire if it arises. In other words, the yearning belongs to her no matter what she looks like.

A few years ago, I walked with a beautiful athletic ex-lover on a weekend vacation in Catalina. Another woman with a truly huge ass stepped in front of us. My dear friend turned to me because I was obviously looking and said, “Really, you’re kidding.” I turned her and said. “When you see butter and honey dripping off a hot biscuit, you don’t want it smaller.” As she shook her head incredulous, I then added, “oh, shake-n-bake it baby” and then told her the story of my father in the truck. Today my dear once-lover has enjoyed much pleasure with men she would have previously passed over. I suspect I may have a little something to do with her openness, if I am right, then I had a wee part in her joy as well. And, come to think of it – maybe, just maybe, that woman from the eighties with her beautiful giant butt had some part in my friend’s joy too.

Sometimes biological experiences are both wonderful and contagious.