How to improve our love?

First let’s begin with a short alagory to set the tone

‘When born into a den of thieves, a Buddha learns to steal.’

We’re born into a Machiavellian world of love songs, stories, religion, ads, movies, half-truths and falsehoods about love. How to improve our love after we’ve tasted so much failure? If there were no creativity in love, we would be loving like our ancestors. When expectations arise from the past, the pain of any flawed beliefs we must endure until we go beyond the beliefs. The trials, errors and discoveries are a part of our growth.

When adapting to love today, remember, today’s events never happened before. There should be doubt about how much we rely on our past. If we are not innovators, then we are followers.

Do we really have a century or two for the culture to show us how to improve our love? I don’t know about you, I’m not waiting for someone else to take the risk for me.

The difference between love and the ideas of love is vast. There is a stone that imitates the look of gold, called iron pyrite. Many a minor has been disillusioned to find that the glittering nuggets of his labor have not been gold, hence the term “fool’s gold.” Imagine the elation of a minor who’s been wanting, desiring, and slaving to find the precious metal and then he discovers what he thinks is it. The imagination, elation, and emotion would be fired, only to learn that it is worthless. That would be painful, and so it is with love.

… Also, unlike the poor minor, one may have invested an entire lifetime in refining, believing in, and polishing these ideas, so after a lifetime, to discover that this was foolishness is a big chunk of disillusionment to swallow. In fact, most can’t swallow it. The result is denial…

Excerpt: Truth Like Fire

How to improve our love? Let’s adapt our ideas to the people and events around us and not try to manage ourselves and other people to coincide with questionable ideas, then the mind will serve life and not the other way around. It’s easier to change a belief than to change a fact. At one time, allowing people to choose their own mates seemed a radical impropriety. The end of arranged marriage heralded a new ability to respond (responsibility).  Now as we look beyond all old models and prejudices of commitment and relationship mythology we need another new ability to respond. There will be trial and error and there will be discoveries that would not otherwise happen. Take heart, the longing for something better always happens while the backward looking crowd shakes their head. Be patient with them. Our lives speak louder than their doubts.

By Todd Vickers

Edit 03/30/2017 for SEO