The desire to know and share what’s true, to share what’s best in life, to love wholly without restraint, to live intensely! These values did not arise in me out of virtue, oh no! They BEGAN to clarify because of loss. My most beloved, died when I was nine. The tears that I feared would never end washed … Read More
We live in a highly sexual culture that also idolizes utility (i.e., a means to an end). We tend to value things only based on what they lead to in the future. This commerce morality often mistakes the means for the end and, therefore, misses the end. To judge joy and sexual … Read More
In the west the propaganda of religion is probably not as pervasive as are the songs, representations, and symbolism about love. We know how different religious influences change the interpretation of a fact. Now consider how everyone is a philosopher about love over coffee, but most people, do not want their love philosophies scrutinized. Most love philosophies are … Read More
Intimate relationships and love ideals are a touchy topic anywhere, but the consequences of marriage, relationship breakups, and vengeance for rejection should make us willing to scrutinize our beliefs. Ideals should not blind us to facts. In some countries, divorce is almost impossible due to the force of custom, but custom itself does not … Read More
Excerpt: “…To be unaware of how we conceive intimate relationship leads to treating our questionable beliefs as fact. Let’s look at some problems and then solutions.
Don’t become cynical in intimate relationship. Find those people who value the truth.
On one hand, the hope for something better drives human discovery; meaning trial and error. … Read More
Understanding relationships means understanding pain. This is vital if we wish to bring relief to useless suffering. To reduce useless pain is nurturing to love. But what does that actually mean?
Understand two sources of suffering.
One source is fact based, some event like a toothache, the loss of someone … Read More
How to improve our love?
First let’s begin with a short alagory to set the tone
‘When born into a den of thieves, a Buddha learns to steal.’
We’re born into a Machiavellian world of love songs, stories, religion, ads, movies, half-truths and falsehoods … Read More
We want love. Many of us will say that it’s one of the most important things in our lives. Love wants to live!
When we distinguish what we see in relationships from our sentiment ABOUT relationships, it seems that a great deal of what passes for love rests on fear: practical fears, fear of the … Read More
Why aren’t we renouncing loves limits? “Who do you know who does not place a boundary around his love? We are afraid others will use us and that our desire for love makes us foolish. In deference to this fear, we try to be smart and use others in the name of love for … Read More
I use the phrase ‘friendly sex’ because the term ‘casual sex‘ is cliché, and leads to confusion. I suggest a lovers friendship in consenting pleasure is better when we include higher qualities in the affection. These qualities are not a function of time, they can happen quickly, slowly, or not at all. More on this later. Such … Read More
Imagination is risky when we fill in the unknown. Below is an ancient story I use as a relationship allegory that exposes the mistake of thinking we know when we don’t.
“A man awakened before the sunrise. He decided to walk the path to work in the forest along the river in the dark. He walked the same … Read More