Bullshit hypnotic manipulation imposes sexual beliefs

hypnotic manipulationMonogamy is a possessive ideology. It presumes to predict the future and often fails. Monogamy becomes a prison for affections and often kills the love that it hoped to protect. In many cases, monogamy is a maladaptation imposed by culturally redundant hypnotic manipulations. When we are actually living in a world where many people live outside of monogamy (honestly … Read More

Love relationships sex non-monogamy doubting couple privilege

Couple privilegeFive reasons ‘Couple privilege’ doesn’t exist

By Lola Phoenix: Lola is a non-binary queer future best selling sci-fi/fantasy novelist in her late twenties.

I’ve seen this concept floating around for a long … Read More

Changing our views of love

love like water

Love like water.

Instead of saying we have different kinds of love, such as, one kind for friends, another for family, and another then lovers. I ask, what if we have only one love that takes different forms, like the way water conforms itself to the present situation? If love like water resonates with you, rather than … Read More

Don’t miss love

Don't miss love

At the age of nine, the death of my beloved sister before she turned twenty taught me something about relationships and this lesson extends to sexual relationships, don’t miss love. What we grieve for in loss is not what the people did for us or helped us to accomplish. We grieve the irreplaceable affections we shared. … Read More

Sexual Kindness

curvy_shyBy Todd Vickers

We will probably face fear or prejudice, including our own, when we dare to cross the frontiers of personal and social bias to explore sexual kindness. We hold dear, protect and offer to others the freedom to have new experiences and discover what gives them sexual joy. When others are having such delights, we can embody this kindness … Read More

Reform socially NOT politically

politics-sexBy Todd Vickers

Politics and sex can exist apart but those interested in sex should heed the 2016 election results. Since we shouldn’t rely on reforms in a conservative political environment, any change becomes a social not a political responsibility. The reasoning offered here also applies to issues beyond sexuality. Before talking about conscious social change let’s take a broad overview.

Any minority … Read More

A monogamous irony

one-on-oneWould you like to see some different views that challenge beliefs about sex? We’ve got articles, videos, slide shows and memes you can peruse, contemplate, share and comment about. Consider a four part series discussing jealousy, or read about cathartic orgasms. What about going beyond rules in polyamory or how different non-monogamous people hold different views? We link to articles of interest and … Read More

Go beyond cheating

Cheating ImageThis brief video looks at one of the mistaken value judgments hidden in the deceit of cheating.

A lie debases our longing for more joy and pollutes our morality. When we habitually use affections, including sexuality as a means, we forget those affections are something that makes life worth living, simply by themselves. This includes sexual affection for more than one other.

Let’s welcome sexuality in honesty.

Affections for their own sake is one of the things that make life worthwhile. Let’s not pretend sexual affection is unimportant when it is.

Non-monogamy, a growing morality

2A gift

The impulse to a more relaxed and open sexuality is not merely instinctive, but also moral. We see this (re)emerging morality* in conflict with established customs, like the conflict illustrated in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn when Huck contemplated turning in his friend Jim, an escaped slave. All his life, Huck had learned that it was a sin … Read More

Facing facts, sex and climate change

Frog Viv adaptWhat do sex and climate change have in common? Both involve facts we sometimes feel tempted to ignore or alter them to suit our existing ideas.

Here is an excerpt from the Elephant Journal article Accepting Polyamory as Natural might help us to Accept Climate Change. {Adult}

Sometimes an experience outside of what we know changes our beliefs forever. At the age of 24, my beliefs … Read More

Monogamy is not virtue

Not VirtueBefore considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of such beliefs. Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being mistreated. We feel uncomfortable at the dentist, but taking care of our teeth is a good thing. A child feels utterly distressed when they want something from the store and the parent says no. … Read More

How you love is up to you

The question is not what form the love takes but THAT we love consciously.

Love is not a routine and cannot be reduced to a preconceived idea without killing it.

Prohibition

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Non Monogamous Instinct

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A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin.

 

 

 

 

Non Monogamous Instinct from NoShameInSex.Com Read More

Poly Follies | The Exhibit and Talk

20150404_182101-1The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, I will broach several points mentioned during the talk.

We talked about what I call ‘tragic fiction,’ which is treating something imagined as real and imposing the emotion induced on others. Such behavior endangers affections. A metaphor … Read More

Saguaro Man | The Poly Follies Art

Chita n GreggWe’re off to Saguaro Man tomorrow. Seven pieces of Todd’s art will be on exhibit called Poly Follies at Center Camp. He will be doing a talk Saturday at Noon called Polyamory Without Pathos (i.e. tragic fiction) also at Center Camp and giving away some books. Our Camp is called The Temple of Resonance, if your going to be near, drop … Read More

Challenging Relationship Myths

Come HereIf you take the prediction and control out of commitment, what is left?

Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of justifications that failed. Before you buy another bag of magic beans, why not meet with us in challenging those beliefs?

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Our Sexual Value Judgments

Yang_Guifei_Mounting_a_HorseThe way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems the best of circumstances. Often we mistake means for ends. In American culture, we typically put down harmless affections and pleasure of great intrinsic value and treat them as superficial when those things lack money, beauty, or the people are unwilling … Read More

Sexual Idealism

sexual idealismConcening sexual idealism, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. One day our conversation turned to the free love of the 1960s. A postmortem on the ‘60s is nothing new. My thoughts on that era I passed by Sharon’s critical eye who, being 21 years my senior, lived through that era while … Read More

r0b1 Different Sex Podcast Todd Vickers Talks Issues of Polyamory

Rob Moore

Rob Moore interviews Todd Vickers on r0b1.com

 

 

 

 

Check out r0b1.com for more interviews and caring discussion about nontraditional relationships.

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