Love relationships sex non-monogamy doubting couple privilege

Couple privilegeFive reasons ‘Couple privilege’ doesn’t exist

By Lola Phoenix: Lola is a non-binary queer future best selling sci-fi/fantasy novelist in her late twenties.

I’ve seen this concept floating around for a long time and I’ve always not really agreed with it or liked it, but it’s taken me awhile to sit down and explain my problem with this concept, why I think it’s inaccurate and what else should be used to describe some of what people usually use ‘ couple privilege ’ to describe.

Reason 1: Privilege is about systemic oppression

When most people reference couple’s privilege, they’re referencing a blog by Franklin Veaux which has been transferred to the More Than Two website. It gives a cursory explanation of privilege as “any advantage that one person or group has over another that hasn’t been specifically earned” which is not necessarily inaccurate.

The intentional nature of privilege

However, this is overly simplistic and…

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One Comment

  1. I wanted to promote Lola’s thoughtful piece because she is making distinctions. Privilege is a vague and ambiguous concept which makes it easy to misunderstand.

    When I originally read this piece, there were comments that alluded to disagreeing based on the title without reading etc. Whether or not we agree with Lola, she gives her reasons for making a distinction and she took pains to explain why she thinks couple privilege is a mistake.

    When ever someone is making a distinction the the way to understand is to ‘provisionally’ accept what they say and see if they can make a case to make the opinion permanent.

    To reject a view without knowing why it is held is like a judge and jury that reach a verdict without hearing the case.

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