The question is not what form the love takes but THAT we love consciously. Love is not a routine and cannot be reduced to a preconceived idea without killing it. Read More
A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin. Non Monogamous Instinct from NoShameInSex.Com Read More
The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, I will broach several points mentioned during the talk. We talked about what I call ‘tragic fiction,’ which is treating something imagined as real and imposing the emotion induced on others. Such behavior endangers affections. A metaphor for this issue is the story of a man rowing a boat in the early morning mist and colliding with another boat. The… Read More
Rob Moore interviews Todd Vickers on r0b1.com Check out r0b1.com for more interviews and caring discussion about nontraditional relationships. Read More
Possessiveness is a bad idea Read More
Poly Monsters of Imagination from NoShameInSex.Com Read More
A wonderful short documentary about the Bonobo Ape. This make love not war, sex for joy sake creature, raises a question about ourselves. Not that we should live in trees. Though I’m not against that mind you. I’m just noting one difference between the Bonobo and the violent Chimpanzee that dominates females. I became an adult as part of a free love commune. When females feel safe, there seems to be a lot more pleasure shared by all. Bonobo Documentary from Tani Ikeda on Vimeo. Read More
The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a a problem exists, but because the events are different than our expectations. Letting go of unrealistic ideals becomes more important in non-monogamous relationships. We tend to cling to beliefs when we feel out of control and we use power to defend them. The use of emotional blackmail, coercion, wild accusations and threats to achieve our aims is itself destructive. Do not pole-vault over mouse turds! Such behavior does not lend itself to trust or… Read More
Is jealousy natural? Cancer is natural, and so is our appendix. Is jealousy instinctive? Even if we assume it so, our ability to adapt beyond genetic limits is also natural. But anthropology gives us many examples of human sexuality beyond monogamy. Perhaps many of our beliefs about sex are arbitrary based on where and when we were born. We do not grow new eyes; we create glasses and laser-surgery to make up for genetic flaws. Perhaps possessiveness with lovers is a flaw like being near-sighted…. Read More
