Stop excusing jealousy as natural

Many HeartsMany HeartsIs jealousy natural? Cancer is natural, and so is our appendix. Is jealousy instinctive? Even if we assume it so, our ability to adapt beyond genetic limits is also natural. But anthropology gives us many examples of human sexuality beyond monogamy. Perhaps many of our … Read More

We Lose When We Withhold Love

NarcissusNarcissusWe distort our capacity to love others with reference to an imaginary future. We see ourselves in this story and believe we know what love will do for us. We use emotion to force others to do what they “should”; what we desire; what … Read More

Go Beyond Jealousy

On jealousy by Todd VickersOn jealousy by Todd VickersI want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, the questions around this destructive emotion change. … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 2

Chained BrideChained BrideSacrificing for an Imagined Good

When we believe the “right” relationship will secure good circumstances, we assume we know today what this bond should look like in the future. When we attempt … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 1

Hobbled Hearts Hobbled Hearts Don’t condemn body desires

We are double-dealing with body pleasures if we speak of them in dreadful tones. We take risks with sex but the same is true of driving. Let us disapprove of recklessness, not varieties of joy rendered safe through intelligence. When sexual delights … Read More