By Todd Vickers
We will probably face fear or prejudice, including our own, when we dare to cross the frontiers of personal and social bias to explore sexual kindness. We hold dear, protect and offer to others the freedom to have new experiences and discover what gives them sexual joy. When others are having such delights, we can … Read More
What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticated the concept of property became relevant. Men started treating women as property. In finding a better morality, men offered themselves … Read More
Possessiveness is a bad idea
The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a a problem exists, but because the events are different than our expectations.
Letting go of unrealistic ideals becomes more important in non-monogamous relationships.
We tend to cling to beliefs when we feel out of control and we use power to defend them. The use of emotional blackmail, coercion, wild accusations and threats to … Read More
Q: You felt it necessary to be anonymous for this interview. I think it says something about our so-called freedom of speech. Why do you feel the need to be anonymous?
M: I live in a small town, and I have children. I’m not sure that I want the judgment of my church-going neighbors to be carried out on … Read More
Is jealousy natural? Cancer is natural, and so is our appendix. Is jealousy instinctive? Even if we assume it so, our ability to adapt beyond genetic limits is also natural. But anthropology gives us many examples of human sexuality beyond monogamy. Perhaps many of our beliefs about sex are arbitrary based on where and when we were born.
We do not grow new eyes; we create … Read More
I want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, the questions around this destructive emotion change. Unfortunately, the inquiry may not come spontaneously, as jealousy arises, intense feeling and finding some relief from the anguish may seem the … Read More
How to Deal With Jealousy
Pleasures rendered harmless through intelligence can liberate wonderful unnoticed possibilities. When a person desires more than one lover that longing probably will not find satisfaction through any amount of great sex with a single person. I live in open relationships and have done so for two decades. Anyone who tries … Read More
Not everyone who is not monogamous has the temperament for open relationships. Yet, many have a disposition for deceit, those who are pretending to the custom. I support responsible open sexuality and do not mean to discourage this freedom. However, the emotional intensity involved suggests the need for the most direct honesty without wishful thinking. Chauvinistic culturesRead More