We Believed Lies About Commitments

What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another  person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticated the concept of property became relevant. Men started treating women as property. In finding a better morality, men offered themselves as property in return. Relationships became more equal but still a person is not property. Business and affection should be judged by different standards. You don’t need a commitment to have a friend and friends are… Read More

The Polyamorous Caravan – Part Two

Many non-traditional folks carry conclusions that seem to rest on bias left over from tradition. For example, in a recent piece, Louisa Leontiades discussed applying the lessons of open relationships to monogamous relationships. I agree with her about many things, but we part ways when she starts to explain both success and failure by the same idea. In other words, her belief can never be false, then I explain how such ideas are a superstitions relationship mythology. The four indented quotes that follow are from… Read More

Can Casual Sex Be Loving? Yes, It Can.

I am not saying that all casual sex is loving any more than I would say the same about all marriages. Our society’s blind spots around sex are worse because we tend to trust customs and support these ideas with awkward feelings, including, but not limited to, fear, contempt and envy. If we combine our experience(s) of disappointment and a dread of disease into this mix, it seems, to some, to create a solid case against casual sex. A deeper look at the position that… Read More