Go Beyond Jealousy

On jealousy by Todd VickersI want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, the questions around this destructive emotion change. Unfortunately, the inquiry may not come spontaneously, as jealousy arises, intense feeling and finding some relief from the anguish may seem the … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 2

Chained BrideSacrificing for an Imagined Good

When we believe the “right” relationship will secure good circumstances, we assume we know today what this bond should look like in the future. When we attempt to make human interaction similar to ideas we reject other alternatives. We turn our lovers into just a means. Let’s be clear, I use others as … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 1

Hobbled Hearts Don’t condemn body desires

We are double-dealing with body pleasures if we speak of them in dreadful tones. We take risks with sex but the same is true of driving. Let us disapprove of recklessness, not varieties of joy rendered safe through intelligence. When sexual delights happen every day without injury, we should not blame sex for errors of judgment.

If we condemn physical desires, confusion … Read More

Marriage Industrial Complex

Pleasure is bad unless...Authority insisted that relaxed sexual freedom must be illegitimate. They built a fence around a birthright with shame. Then through the custom, they sell you a constrained pleasure.

We appease the uncomfortable sexual limits of tradition through buying things commercially associated with sex. The consumer receives an illusion of security and faux potency with each purchase.

Why not … Read More