Month: April 2016

Sex contrary to our beliefs

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If we were born elsewhere or in another time, we would have different beliefs including beliefs about sex. We have no obligation to cling to beliefs when they do not reflect the real events of life. Yes being in the unknown challenges us but believing things that are contrary to the reality is much worse. Instead of torturing our minds explaining our lives by incompatible beliefs, consider changing our beliefs to accommodate more facts. Contribute to this blog if you find it worthwhile. Read More

Monogamy is not virtue

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Before considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of such beliefs. Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being mistreated. We feel uncomfortable at the dentist, but taking care of our teeth is a good thing. A child feels utterly distressed when they want something from the store and the parent says no. That does not make the child a victim in any way. When considering different ways to relate to lovers, any relationship that exists without being… Read More

Three reasons sex is confusing

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Sex doesn’t oppose truth. Delusion opposes truth. Delusion is different than having or not having sex. People often withhold the truth and blankly lie about their sexuality. These faults blend with truths, some truth we speak plainly and others we say as a joke.  A smokescreen allows us to stay two-faced e.g. ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ Our beliefs around sexuality may be contrary to our body impulses and even our behaviors without us questioning if the belief is false or flawed. This leads to shame as well as confusion. Popular culture… Read More

Sexual understanding or rebellion

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Distinguish between sexual conformity, rebellion and hypocrisy. The conformist and rebel obey or disobey by degree, but the rule is the governing ideal. The hypocrite knows he or she is deceitful. The rebel thinks he or she is both honest and free but in fact the rule is as much the criterion as it is for a conformist. It’s one reason disappointed rebels swing back to being conformists and talk in dire tones about their ‘wild days etc.’   We have impulses that sometimes drive us beyond the boundaries of our beliefs, still… Read More

Don’t blame sex

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Sex is an event like an eclipse. Beliefs about events confuse us because beliefs induce emotions and changes in our behavior. During an eclipse our terrified ancestors made loud noises to scare off a demon from eating the sun, that belief was superfluous with the eclipse. How many superfluous beliefs burden our sexuality that, like the eclipse, could exist without them. If we cease to obey unfounded beliefs, the benefits of that freedom comes to us today.   If you see a value here then… Read More

Jealousy – a short video

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Ashwini asks author Todd Vickers to discuss jealousy. View the video and for more, check out our other pieces on jealousy.             Read More