Cathartic Orgasms

Cathartic OrgasmsThe first time I ever saw a cathartic orgasm I was quite concerned.  Should I ring the ambulance or hope it passes?  ‘Cathartic orgasm’, by the way, is a phrase I coined to describe orgasms that have the same signs and symptoms as shock – light-headed-ness or a feeling of passing out, restlessness, confusion, shallow breathing, cool and clammy skin or profuse sweating, weakness and thirst.  While it is predominantly … Read More

Commitment Involves Prediction

LargeLeftSideGirlPeople believe there can be no love in a relationship without some forecast.

As if, biological or emotional aspects of human beings mysteriously cease to function without prediction.

When we consider the many failures of commitment, doubt becomes even stronger. When we can point to one or more failures for every success, the positive examples do not prove that commitment helped! … Read More

Confessions of a Female Sex Tourist

Jodi HansonThe fact that it took me almost twenty five years to realize I was a female sex tourist is not a defense.

Check the screaming tabloids and anti-prostitution literature to confirm that sex tourism is totally unacceptable. Zero tolerance.

Flash back to Cuba 1978. I was a 25-year old teacher working on a fly-in Indian reserve in northern Canada and I managed to escape for a week in the sun over the Easter … Read More

Different Faces of Jealousy

Battle for a Woman  Jealousy needs to be distinguished from envy as the fear of losing a person viewed as a possession. Envy springs from desire for things or people possessed by others. The tendency to view people as objects or means seems clear in both cases.

Some who find great joy with sexually open lovers attempt to … Read More

How to Deal With Jealousy

How to Deal With Jealousy How to Deal With Jealousy

Pleasures rendered harmless through intelligence can liberate wonderful unnoticed possibilities. When a person desires more than one lover that longing probably will not find satisfaction through any amount of great sex with a single person. I live in open relationships and have done so for two decades. Anyone who tries … Read More

Discovering You Are Not Monogamous

Not Monogamous Meeting JealousyMeeting Jealousy

Not everyone who is not monogamous has the temperament for open relationships. Yet, many have a disposition for deceit, those who are pretending to the custom. I support responsible open sexuality and do not mean to discourage this freedom. However, the emotional intensity involved suggests the need for the most direct honesty without wishful thinking. Chauvinistic culturesRead More

Slane Girl and Sex as a Weapon from Writing On Water

Stop Shaming Slane Girl A snippet

“Women are often treated badly when something wild becomes public. Look through the telescope revealing that custom isn’t the center of the universe. If you want a more juicy life, find safe and conscious participants. If on the contrary, the partners are more or less traditional-hypocrites (those words often run together) then the sex may … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 2

Chained BrideSacrificing for an Imagined Good

When we believe the “right” relationship will secure good circumstances, we assume we know today what this bond should look like in the future. When we attempt to make human interaction similar to ideas we reject other alternatives. We turn our lovers into just a means. Let’s be clear, I use others as … Read More

Hobbled Hearts Part 1

Hobbled Hearts Don’t condemn body desires

We are double-dealing with body pleasures if we speak of them in dreadful tones. We take risks with sex but the same is true of driving. Let us disapprove of recklessness, not varieties of joy rendered safe through intelligence. When sexual delights happen every day without injury, we should not blame sex for errors of judgment.

If we condemn physical desires, confusion … Read More

Women’s Self Concept

body conceptWomen are touchy about this issue. Though men have body concept problems I think women learn to judge their bodies by a much harsher standard than men.  Girls face different prejudices than boys with this body obsession.

Many people think the anguish around body issues unreasonable. When they discuss the subject they qualify by saying something like; “I … Read More

What Do You Mean by Normal People

Normal PeopleThe concept of normal people. If we have little or no interest in sex we may withhold that information from most people. If we have desires other than the customary, we probably tend to keep those private. These strategic  omissions allow others to fill in the blanks with common ideas. Remember many popular ideas we now reject i.e. a flat earth were thought normal. … Read More

Marriage Industrial Complex

Pleasure is bad unless...Authority insisted that relaxed sexual freedom must be illegitimate. They built a fence around a birthright with shame. Then through the custom, they sell you a constrained pleasure.

We appease the uncomfortable sexual limits of tradition through buying things commercially associated with sex. The consumer receives an illusion of security and faux potency with each purchase.

Why not … Read More