Jordan Peterson won’t be footing the bill for your wedding or your divorce. He won’t be returning the time lost chasing his dubious ideals. And he certainly won’t recreate missed chances for love, including potential partners you passed up because they didn’t match the playbook he so zealously advocates. Read More
Monogamy is a possessive ideology. It presumes to predict the future and often fails. Monogamy becomes a prison for affections and often kills the love that it hoped to protect. In many cases, monogamy is a maladaptation imposed by culturally redundant hypnotic manipulations. When we are actually living in a world where many people live outside of monogamy (honestly or not,) then let’s meet that fact truthfully and adapt to the world the way it is. Polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy exemplify our… Read More
Five reasons ‘Couple privilege’ doesn’t exist By Lola Phoenix: Lola is a non-binary queer future best selling sci-fi/fantasy novelist in her late twenties. I’ve seen this concept floating around for a long time and I’ve always not really agreed with it or liked it, but it’s taken me awhile to sit down and explain my problem with this concept, why I think it’s inaccurate and what else should be used to describe some of what people usually use ‘ couple privilege ’ to describe. Reason 1:… Read More
Love like water. Instead of saying we have different kinds of love, such as, one kind for friends, another for family, and another then lovers. I ask, what if we have only one love that takes different forms, like the way water conforms itself to the present situation? If love like water resonates with you, rather than trying to pour our love into containers shaped like our ideals that assume what love should be. Instead, I suggest, we hold standards of harm that tell us… Read More
I want to respect the trial and error of a sexually daring woman who is now dead, and expose the all too common error for the sake of others. This writing is not merely a eulogy for a sexually daring woman whom I will refer to by her first name, these words are more than a remembrance for a sexual rebel. Her life touched me deeply and offers a lesson, a gift for those people still living. I speak of the unnecessary degradation of a… Read More
The cheating liar may or may not believe in monogamy, but they have the merit of seeing possibilities beyond monogamy. Their desire exists beyond the boundaries of their beliefs or pretense. The cheaters lip service to monogamy becomes a degradation of sexual affection outside of monogamy. Someone who lies for the sake of having lovers tries to manage other people’s affections. A lie may produce many results far beyond what we wanted or imagined. A momentary gain may bring a terrible loss. Deceit is a… Read More
If we deny opportunities to love because we can’t conceive living beyond monogamy, we may, among other things, be suffering envy. The idea that we cannot have something tempts us to say it’s ‘not worth having.’ This is often envy hiding behind a prejudice. Nobody but the person themself can confirm such envy and that takes a great deal of honesty. Life by chance offers us opportunities to love. The idea that we must sacrifice one love to love another is foolish and worse when… Read More
The tertiary benefits of open sexuality might easily be forgotten. The intensity of emotion that may, at times, needlessly drain into drama or fictional fears can also give vitality to the little tasks of life. We feel our blood pump with the ‘yes’ to a date. The joy of discovery makes for a life well lived and gratitude. When that vigor happens and others are not frightened by it, it becomes contagious joy. Read More
Would you like to see some different views that challenge beliefs about sex? We’ve got articles, videos, slide shows and memes you can peruse, contemplate, share and comment about. Consider a four part series discussing jealousy, or read about cathartic orgasms. What about going beyond rules in polyamory or how different non-monogamous people hold different views? We link to articles of interest and shine a light on controversial questions. The majority of the content is free. Come check it out! Read More
We risk losing some opportunities telling the truth. Regardless, the growth of a seed in a consciously sewn garden is not retarded by noxious weeds and briers overtaking the blossoms and choking them with shadow. “When we attempt to live consciously without monogamy we don’t solve possessiveness as a problem by adding more lovers to possess. Imposing the expectations left over from monogamy on non-monogamous circumstances seems to me a mistake. If our ideas do not adapt to new circumstances, let’s modify our ideas, not people.” How do we know if monogamy doesn’t suit… Read More
The impulse to a more relaxed and open sexuality is not merely instinctive, but also moral. We see this (re)emerging morality* in conflict with established customs, like the conflict illustrated in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn when Huck contemplated turning in his friend Jim, an escaped slave. All his life, Huck had learned that it was a sin to help a slave escape. He also knew that a reward would be involved in turning Jim in. He even wrote a letter to inform the slave… Read More
Painted Polyamory Problems Probably the best way to illustrate what I’m doing with this art is to criticize it. One of the strongest objections to these paintings, they are all negative. They show problems, not solutions. Even the title of the show is negative – Love instead of . . . Against the fact standing above I say that the art is about the beauty of love and open sexuality. And nothing reveals love like its conspicuous absence contrasted with what is so destructive; the habitual… Read More
Before considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of such beliefs. Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being mistreated. We feel uncomfortable at the dentist, but taking care of our teeth is a good thing. A child feels utterly distressed when they want something from the store and the parent says no. That does not make the child a victim in any way. When considering different ways to relate to lovers, any relationship that exists without being… Read More
A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin. Non Monogamous Instinct from NoShameInSex.Com Read More
