Tag: sex positive

Promiscuity, Platitudes and Prejudice

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Sexual Freedom

Excerpt: Todd Vickers New Writing at The Elephant Journal I have some reservations about certain extremes of consensual kink, but again, that is a matter of personal judgment, not a reflection on sex or sexual freedom. It’s trivial to claim, “if we did not engage in promiscuous sex, problems like STIs and unwanted pregnancy would not exist.” We could just as easily argue that if we did not eat chicken, we would eliminate the spread of salmonella. That statement is naive, the issue lies in… Read More

What’s New at NoShameInSex.com

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Burning Man BED map 2023

What’s buzzing at NoShameInSex.com? Curious about what yours truly, Todd Vickers, has been stirring up lately? New Book! My digital presence has been somewhat elusive these past couple of years, yet during this time, I’ve ventured away from nonfiction into the realm of writing fiction, crafting ‘When Men Love.’ In deed it’s a sultry exploration of non-monogamous relationships, and I’m currently in search of a literary agent to represent the book. It seems to me there’s a scarcity of literature about non-monogamous relationships. About 90%… Read More

Argh! Lip service to tradition! What is Orwellian Polyamory?

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Orwellian Polyamory

Discover the truth about non-monogamy and why it’s not the morally equivalent to monogamy in this eye-opening video! Possessiveness, and non-possessiveness are opposites!  You may enjoy reading The Polyamorous Caravan 2 Excerpt: “Many non-traditional folks carry conclusions that seem to rest on bias left over from tradition… I explain how such ideas are a superstitions relationship mythology.” Read More

How to compare loving non-monogamy versus codependent monogamy

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loving non-monogamy

The desire to know and share what’s true, to share what’s best in life, to love wholly without restraint, to live intensely! These values did not arise in me out of virtue, oh no! They BEGAN to clarify because of loss. My most beloved, died when I was nine. The tears that I feared would never end washed the dust from a jewel. Why should I fear to tell the truth, or a broken heart? I already know l will lose you, THIS is the… Read More

Slut shaming on social networks

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Since the January 21st Woman’s March, I’ve seen a lot of slut shaming on social networks. Memes with scantily clad celebrities who might hold views on non sexual issues like the scientific consensus on climate change or the US accepting of political refugees. They may also state opinions on the right to comprehensive sex education, birth control, and legal abortion. Such women in the limelight were often also insisting on defending sexual consent after the ‘grab em by the pussy’ scandal with Donald Trump. Such… Read More

Sexual Kindness

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By Todd Vickers We will probably face fear or prejudice, including our own, when we dare to cross the frontiers of personal and social bias to explore sexual kindness. We hold dear, protect and offer to others the freedom to have new experiences and discover what gives them sexual joy. When others are having such delights, we can embody this kindness or corrupt it. In a situation with more than one lover, the gravity of this subject increases. Our desire for truthfulness is a real merit… Read More

Self and Orgasm

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An understanding through ecstasy. “If we can’t let go of our self, orgasm becomes difficult. In the ecstasy of love, the mental specter of our self becomes unsustainable. We live without a story for a few moments. If we need others to see beyond our ideas of ourselves, then possessiveness haunts us. We become a burden to others and limit our choices by reducing people into nothing more than a means. When we use people, we probably destroy or limit our affections in the process.” Excerpt:… Read More

Friendly Sexual Connections

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The benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda invoke our sexual instincts. A chicken broods on a wooden egg and our instincts can also be misguided. When we have friendly sexual connections with consenting adults, sex is less likely a means for power to manipulate us. Why pull a cart chasing a carrot dangled before our face when we have free access to carrots? We are not beasts of burden, and our instincts should not… Read More

How to Let Go of Sexual Customs – Be Bold

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The honor we pay to fictional ideas about love and sex is simply customary, like the undeserved deference our ancestors felt they must pay to king and clergy. These ideas, even when false, have real power. Some of our forebears undoubtedly believed in the truth, importance and obligation of their beliefs. Many people were cruel, destructive and willing sacrifice their own lives to undeserving authority because they thought it good to do so. “Men—not saints or philosophers, but common herds and crowds—are constantly frenzied into… Read More