Sex Power – Media Offering Vicarious Pleasure

sex powerWhat is sex power? It’s no trivial fact that almost every human being you meet  longs for sexual joy, and those who understand that fact have power. Unfortunately, shame, possessive-ness, questionable beliefs and the tendency to use people as a means place sex power in the hands of advertisers, religion, and people who are willing to take advantage or deceive. … Read More

How to Find Your New Life | Todd writes for Vivriti.org

find new life“How to find new life? You follow the impulses toward a better life, even when it’s hard. That is what I do, and it’s not easy but the alternative is a prison of routine and amusement seeking to avoid feeling dead. Remember the sprout struggles out of the seed. The chick struggles out … Read More

Understanding Relationships Nurturing Love | Todd Vickers writes for Vivriti.org

Understanding RelationshipsUnderstanding relationships means understanding pain. This is vital if we wish to bring relief to useless suffering. To reduce useless pain is nurturing to love.  But what does that actually mean?

Understand two sources of suffering.

One source is fact based, some event like a toothache, the loss of someone … Read More

Slut Shaming Cultural Differences | Todd Vickers writing at Vivriti.org

slut shamingAnyone involved in slut shaming does not want girls to have freedom, to wear whatever they want, to like whoever they like (including boys), to speak boldly etc., whatever excuse these ‘perhaps’ well-meaning people offer, they indulge in power over girls when they use shame. This shame is an abuse. We can train a cat to fear a mouse by shocking … Read More

How to improve our love

How to improve our love

How to improve our love?

First let’s begin with a short alagory to set the tone

‘When born into a den of thieves, a Buddha learns to steal.’

 

We’re born into a Machiavellian world of love songs, stories, religion, ads, movies, half-truths and falsehoods … Read More

Todd Vickers writing at Vivriti.org – Freedom – Women’s day

Freedom

What is Freedom

A donkey chooses to pursue a carrot dangled in front of its face and thereby pulls the farmers cart. That isn’t what we mean by freedom.

The donkeys choice is constrained by bondage. The denial of alternatives let’s us know it is something far less than freedom…. Read More

Love wants to live

Love wants to liveWe want love. Many of us will say that it’s one of the most important things in our lives. Love wants to live!

When we distinguish what we see in relationships from our sentiment ABOUT relationships, it seems that a great deal of what passes for love rests on fear: practical fears, fear of the … Read More

Renouncing the limits of love | Todd Vickers on Vivriti.org

renouncing loves limitsWhy aren’t we renouncing loves limits? “Who do you know who does not place a boundary around his love? We are afraid others will use us and that our desire for love makes us foolish. In deference to this fear, we try to be smart and use others in the name of love for … Read More

Leaving dead relationships

Leaving dead relationshipsLet’s start leaving dead relationships. Some people hold love hostage. Hiding behind a mask, they threaten to kill love if another doesn’t submit to spoken or unspoken demands. Sometimes a piece of love is cut off, a warning, just to prove that they are serious. Only the mind perpetrates such terrorism, mind with its boundless … Read More

Slut shaming on social networks

Since the January 21st Woman’s March, I’ve seen a lot of slut shaming on social networks.

Memes with scantily clad celebrities who might hold views on non sexual issues like the scientific consensus on climate change or the US accepting of political refugees. They may also state opinions on the right to comprehensive sex education, birth control, and legal abortion. Such women in the … Read More

Lovers in friendship vs. being a player

I use the phrase ‘friendly sex’ because the term ‘casual sex‘ is cliché, and leads to confusion. I suggest a lovers friendship in consenting pleasure is better when we include higher qualities in the affection. These qualities are not a function of time, they can happen quickly, slowly, or not at all. More on this later. Such … Read More

My ever changing sexuality

changing sexualityMy ever changing sexuality really began as a teen, I grew my sexual legs in a free love community of spiritual seekers, my views of this ever changing sexuality are quite non-traditional. I know the world is far bigger than many people imagine it and that we need not be drugged to break out and experience it. That big world requires intelligence … Read More

An allegory applied to relationships

Relationship allegoryImagination is risky when we fill in the unknown. Below is an ancient story I use as a relationship allegory that exposes the mistake of thinking we know when we don’t.

“A man awakened before the sunrise. He decided to walk the path to work in the forest along the river in the dark. He walked the same … Read More

Christians cut off a young girls clit in USA

The reason to scrutinize religion is because religion can be terribly harmful. The example and it is not unique. The irrational fear that some religion instills around sex harms countless people.

“A Christian doctor removed my clitoris when I was three years old as a ‘cure’ for masturbation, writes Renee Bergstrom”… Read more at … Read More

Bias in love

biased loveIf we’ve felt great pain in past relationships, we probably have some strong beliefs or biased love based on those impressions. How can we go beyond our past conclusions in new circumstances? If we believe ‘this’ about women and ‘that’ about men, the real events around us we see through those beliefs like a colored lens.

If … Read More

Revenge porn | a betrayal of trust

First Person Convicted Of “Revenge Porn” In Oregon Gets Jail SentenceRevenge porn

“A 31-year-old Oregon man is going to jail for six months for revenge porn after he published sexual videos of an ex online. He’s the first person in the state convicted and sentenced for “revenge porn.” … Read more.

What we’ll do when when we feel turned on

when we feel turned onWhen discussing heightened sexual states and what we’ll do when we feel turned on, let’s look at sex as something like the ocean or like weather, something both powerful and in continuous flux. Sex does not exist to serve our expectations or beliefs but is simply a part of life. If good fortune allows us … Read More

Queer America: Now That Trump Will Be President

man-tearsOriginally published at The Huffington Post 11/09/2016

“…we must hold each other as we piece ourselves back together, as we remember who we are ― who we have always been ― and remember what we have stared down and refused to give in to before. Remember what we and those who came before us have overcome, together, for hundreds … Read More

Don’t miss love

Don't miss love

At the age of nine, the death of my beloved sister before she turned twenty taught me something about relationships and this lesson extends to sexual relationships, don’t miss love. What we grieve for in loss is not what the people did for us or helped us to accomplish. We grieve the irreplaceable affections … Read More

Abusing a lovers empathy

Abusing lovers empathyWe cannot be convicted of abusing a lovers empathy with our self-created misery but we can still be guilty. Our ability to feel what we think is one of our conceptual powers. The mind does not communicate to the body in language but instead uses impulses. Those impulses cause real feeling. If we are unaware that we can generate any feeling including … Read More