Beyond Satisfaction of Desire

surrender-2What would you choose, the experience of love being equal in both instances.

Love with truth

Love without truth

If the value is only the feeling then one is not better than the other. Love outside the truth is much more easily attained. Lies are the most commonly used aphrodisiac. But if we value love with truth, … Read More

Stop admiring hypocrites

Janus

We risk losing some opportunities telling the truth. Regardless, the growth of a seed in a consciously sewn garden is not retarded by noxious weeds and briers overtaking the blossoms and choking them with shadow.

“When we attempt to live consciously without monogamy we don’t solve possessiveness as a problem by adding more lovers to possess. Imposing the expectations left over from monogamy … Read More

Go beyond cheating

Cheating ImageThis brief video looks at one of the mistaken value judgments hidden in the deceit of cheating.

A lie debases our longing for more joy and pollutes our morality. When we habitually use affections, including sexuality as a means, we forget those affections are something that makes life worth living, simply by themselves. This includes sexual affection for more than one other.

Let’s welcome sexuality in honesty.

Affections for their own sake is one of the things that make life worthwhile. Let’s not pretend sexual affection is unimportant when it is.

Non-monogamy, a growing morality

2A gift

The impulse to a more relaxed and open sexuality is not merely instinctive, but also moral. We see this (re)emerging morality* in conflict with established customs, like the conflict illustrated in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn when Huck contemplated turning in his friend Jim, an escaped slave. All his life, Huck had learned that it was … Read More

Facing facts, sex and climate change

Frog Viv adaptWhat do sex and climate change have in common? Both involve facts we sometimes feel tempted to ignore or alter them to suit our existing ideas.

Here is an excerpt from the Elephant Journal article Accepting Polyamory as Natural might help us to Accept Climate Change. {Adult}

Sometimes an experience outside of what we know changes our beliefs forever. At the age of 24, … Read More

Social hypocrisy about sex

Cult Society“Our powers of conception come with a risk. Again, we use thought like paint on the canvas of our minds, using our fears and wants as the brushes. We create and judge not only the future, but, also, an image of our world today. Seekers often surrender this power of the mind to the direction of leaders. However, we no more live in our … Read More

Freedom to love

Free 2 LoveThe arguments in favor of sexual freedom rest on similar grounds as freedom of speech. Our love is part of our freedom, whether straight, gay, sapiosexual, one on one, or non monogamous.

Recommended reading, as pertinent today as in the past.

John Stuart Mill: On Liberty

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Love instead of… Paintings at 2016 Saguaro Man

Painted Polyamory Problems

Probably the best way to illustrate what I’m doing with this art is to criticize it. One of the strongest objections to these paintings, they are all negative. They show problems, not solutions. Even the title of the show is negative – Love instead of . . .

A smaller serving

 

Against the fact standing above I say that the art … Read More

Slut shaming – How men can stop it

EJ Slut ShameAuthor Todd Vickers writes at Elephant Journal and looks critically at slut shaming.

The good things around sex often become mixed with a variety of useless pains. My heart weeps at the double messages spoon fed to all of us, especially women. We cannot be reminded too often what culture imposes on … Read More

Controlling crowds with sex

sex controlling crowdsThose with influence and interest will try to deny access to rainwater and then either sell it back to us or use it for their own purposes. Sex controlling crowds is an old game through societal norms often born of religion, try to deny or restrict access to sex and then create alternate … Read More

Todd talks beliefs about sex at Vivriti.org

AdaptRead the points and the excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir.

Let us differentiate the inestimable benefits of accumulated knowledge from the tendency to hold fast to the past out of fear of the unknown. The beliefs we cling to… Read More!

Buy the book here.

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New Sexual Knowledge

ShareThink of the transformation of sexual relations since the Victorian era. Each change had to be tried by a minority of people, perhaps there were many failures but slowly we found better ways, more equitable ways, more honest ways of loving. This evolution continues.

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Sex contrary to our beliefs

truer beliefsIf we were born elsewhere or in another time, we would have different beliefs including beliefs about sex. We have no obligation to cling to beliefs when they do not reflect the real events of life. Yes being in the unknown challenges us but believing things that are contrary to the reality is much worse. Instead of torturing … Read More

Monogamy is not virtue

Not VirtueBefore considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of such beliefs. Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being mistreated. We feel uncomfortable at the dentist, but taking care of our teeth is a good thing. A child feels utterly distressed when they want something from the store and the parent … Read More

Three reasons sex is confusing

sex is confusingSex doesn’t oppose truth. Delusion opposes truth. Delusion is different than having or not having sex.

  • People often withhold the truth and blankly lie about their sexuality. These faults blend with truths, some truth we speak plainly and others we say as a joke.  A smokescreen allows us to stay two-faced e.g. ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’
  • Our beliefs around sexuality may be … Read More
  • Sexual understanding or rebellion

    ThePrudeDistinguish between sexual conformity, rebellion and hypocrisy. The conformist and rebel obey or disobey by degree, but the rule is the governing ideal. The hypocrite knows he or she is deceitful. The rebel thinks he or she is both honest and free but in fact the rule is as much the criterion as it is for a conformist. It’s one reason disappointed … Read More

    Don’t blame sex

    DisapointmentSex is an event like an eclipse. Beliefs about events confuse us because beliefs induce emotions and changes in our behavior. During an eclipse our terrified ancestors made loud noises to scare off a demon from eating the sun, that belief was superfluous with the eclipse. How many superfluous beliefs burden our sexuality that, like the eclipse, could … Read More

    Jealousy – a short video

    JealousPhoneAshwini asks author Todd Vickers to discuss jealousy. View the video and for more, check out our other pieces on jealousy.

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    How you love is up to you

    The question is not what form the love takes but THAT we love consciously.

    Love is not a routine and cannot be reduced to a preconceived idea without killing it.

    Prohibition

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