Tag: relationships

Promiscuity, Platitudes and Prejudice

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Sexual Freedom

Excerpt: Todd Vickers New Writing at The Elephant Journal I have some reservations about certain extremes of consensual kink, but again, that is a matter of personal judgment, not a reflection on sex or sexual freedom. It’s trivial to claim, “if we did not engage in promiscuous sex, problems like STIs and unwanted pregnancy would not exist.” We could just as easily argue that if we did not eat chicken, we would eliminate the spread of salmonella. That statement is naive, the issue lies in… Read More

Unreasonable Respect For Old Relationship Beliefs

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unreasonable respect for old relationship beliefs

Why would I say there is unreasonable respect for old relationship beliefs? At a party, a woman lamented that she had to divide all her assets twice in two divorces. She said the next time she gets married, the man will have more stuff than her. When three people asked why she would get married again, she replied in a circular way, “I’m just the marrying type.” And the conversation ended since there seemed no point. If someone answered the question, why do you repeatedly… Read More

Understanding Relationships Nurturing Love | Todd Vickers writes for Vivriti.org

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Understanding Relationships

Understanding relationships means understanding pain. This is vital if we wish to bring relief to useless suffering. To reduce useless pain is nurturing to love.  But what does that actually mean? Understand two sources of suffering. One source is fact based, some event like a toothache, the loss of someone loved, an abuse etc. The other suffering our mind generates, we make stuff up and believe it, like the real fear created when imagining you’ve lost your wallet when you’ve put it in another pocket and… Read More

Renouncing the limits of love | Todd Vickers on Vivriti.org

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Why aren’t we renouncing loves limits? “Who do you know who does not place a boundary around his love? We are afraid others will use us and that our desire for love makes us foolish. In deference to this fear, we try to be smart and use others in the name of love for our own ends. We become what we fear and keep things hidden from our mates, especially the secrets that…”  Read more at Vivriti.org Read More

Slut shaming – How men can stop it

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Author Todd Vickers writes at Elephant Journal and looks critically at slut shaming. The good things around sex often become mixed with a variety of useless pains. My heart weeps at the double messages spoon fed to all of us, especially women. We cannot be reminded too often what culture imposes on our lovers, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. These maddening attitudes toward sex persist in a mix of admiration and shame, desire blended with disdain. Read More… Read More

5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

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Let’s look at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas. Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses exist beyond monogamy. Many arguments against freer sexuality provoke fear and even persecution exemplified in slut shaming, honor killings and LGBT harassment. The discovery of trial and error expands our choices. Discovery also exposes our mistakes. For example, discovering what sex will not do liberates us from our imagination. I treat lovers… Read More

The Relevance of Kabir – One Thousand Review Copies Free

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Todd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns & Noble and more. If you would like a free review copy, go to http://therelevanceofkabir.com/ and click on the promotion. Todd selects the poems from four translations of Kabir on poignant subjects like sex, desire, money, power, and the benefits of meditation. This book, like Kabir himself, is critical of religion. The 15th century poet left both Islam and then Hinduism behind. Using… Read More

We Believed Lies About Commitments

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What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another  person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticated the concept of property became relevant. Men started treating women as property. In finding a better morality, men offered themselves as property in return. Relationships became more equal but still a person is not property. Business and affection should be judged by different standards. You don’t need a commitment to have a friend and friends are… Read More