Author: Todd Vickers

Read-Darwinian Gender Studies

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By Paula Wright Unpoisoning the Well In my research, I interrogate orthodox feminist concepts, such as patriarchy, objectification, gender power differentials, mating systems and psychosexual differences using humour and evolutionary explanatory models such as sexual selection, parental investment theory, mutual mate choice, female choice, signalling theory and perhaps most importantly intrasexual competition. History shows us that whenever our species has ever attempted to take control of biology and bend it out of shape to ideological goals, human tragedy always follows. It’s a lesson we still… Read More

5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

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Let’s look at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas. Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses exist beyond monogamy. Many arguments against freer sexuality provoke fear and even persecution exemplified in slut shaming, honor killings and LGBT harassment. The discovery of trial and error expands our choices. Discovery also exposes our mistakes. For example, discovering what sex will not do liberates us from our imagination. I treat lovers… Read More

Friendly Sexual Connections

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The benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda invoke our sexual instincts. A chicken broods on a wooden egg and our instincts can also be misguided. When we have friendly sexual connections with consenting adults, sex is less likely a means for power to manipulate us. Why pull a cart chasing a carrot dangled before our face when we have free access to carrots? We are not beasts of burden, and our instincts should not… Read More

Gay in Cuba – Hardship and Love

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The confrontation between Tony and the man who infected him, to protect others, touches the heart as does the whole article. Recommended Reading… Two hours into our first meeting, I knew that Francisco Segundo Martínez Sosa (Frank) is gay (just looking at him tells you that); is a composer and a writer; was nearly successful at suicide; is the father of two children; and has AIDS. His relationship with the disease is like a marriage: it’s been with him for twenty-four years, the same amount… Read More

Poly Follies | The Exhibit and Talk

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The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, I will broach several points mentioned during the talk. We talked about what I call ‘tragic fiction,’ which is treating something imagined as real and imposing the emotion induced on others. Such behavior endangers affections. A metaphor for this issue is the story of a man rowing a boat in the early morning mist and colliding with another boat. The… Read More

Saguaro Man | The Poly Follies Art

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We’re off to Saguaro Man tomorrow. Seven pieces of Todd’s art will be on exhibit called Poly Follies at Center Camp. He will be doing a talk Saturday at Noon called Polyamory Without Pathos (i.e. tragic fiction) also at Center Camp and giving away some books. Our Camp is called The Temple of Resonance, if your going to be near, drop by for a chat. Will be posting picks of the event. Todd, Chita & Gregg     Read More

Challenging Relationship Myths

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If you take the prediction and control out of commitment, what is left? Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of justifications that failed. Before you buy another bag of magic beans, why not meet with us in challenging those beliefs? Check out this website. Subscribe. Make a comment. Criticize an idea. Meet Todd Vickers and see Poly Follies, his artworks displayed at Saguaro Man 2015   Painted using recycled plywood and mostly recycled paint. Read More

What is Sexual Excess?

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Excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir “The word excessive means something when talking of salt, sex or any experience. Even water will kill you if you drink too much. When we believe some experience or possession will do something it cannot, before we give up the belief, we are likely to see if more will accomplish the desired effect. Our beliefs make us vulnerable to hawkers that pander to our desires. Advertisers will sell us anything by suggesting an enviable ‘lifestyle’ associated with their products…. Read More

Mistaking Means for Ends in Love

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Mistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane dream-world that murders affection. A commitment necessarily views people as means to some goal. Anything that we can commit to doing can be done without affection. Commitment is not love. We cannot promise to feel the same way tomorrow and be truly honest because we don’t know. Anyone who wishes to challenge the above argument should also display their… Read More

Our Sexual Value Judgments

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The way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems the best of circumstances. Often we mistake means for ends. In American culture, we typically put down harmless affections and pleasure of great intrinsic value and treat them as superficial when those things lack money, beauty, or the people are unwilling to play by our rules etc. We abase what serves no other purpose. An ancient Chinese story sheds light… Read More

Forbidden Subjects

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Excerpted from the introduction to The Relevance of Kabir. By Todd Vickers Let us let go of taboos when encountering poems. A lyricist mixes metaphors like a cook making soup. Before you taste this broth, be warned, I like spice! When we allow bold statements, we quickly clarify ideas that might otherwise be obscure, hence the following metaphor. Prostitutes who serve women were once talked about in hushed and disbelieving tones, but a quick internet search of the terms female sex tourism shows that these… Read More

Sexual Idealism

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Concening sexual idealism, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. One day our conversation turned to the free love of the 1960s. A postmortem on the ‘60s is nothing new. My thoughts on that era I passed by Sharon’s critical eye who, being 21 years my senior, lived through that era while I was still pooping in diapers. I think some of the mistakes that people made in the 1960s haunt today’s attempts… Read More

Couple Calls – By The Honest Courtesan

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A couple call is different from a two-girl call in that the latter involves two professional women rather than one professional and one amateur; despite the fact that the fantasy is the same, the dynamic is quite different because in the two-girl call the whores generally know each other and may even have had similar dates together before.  There were two girls in particular with whom I really enjoyed doing these sorts of calls, and since they liked me as well such calls usually went… Read More

A Retired Prostitute Helped Me

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In my latest book, The Relevance of Kabir, I use a strong metaphor concerning prostitution to make a point about honesty and taboo subjects. Woody “Bee,” the subject of this essay, is a part of that metaphor. Although I have known several prostitutes in my life, for various reasons, Woody made a huge impact on me for the better. She was in her mid-70s when I met her in my teens. At that time in my life, I was an “at-risk youth” with a destructive… Read More

The Relevance of Kabir – One Thousand Review Copies Free

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Todd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns & Noble and more. If you would like a free review copy, go to http://therelevanceofkabir.com/ and click on the promotion. Todd selects the poems from four translations of Kabir on poignant subjects like sex, desire, money, power, and the benefits of meditation. This book, like Kabir himself, is critical of religion. The 15th century poet left both Islam and then Hinduism behind. Using… Read More

Celebrate Mature Women, Who Want

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How about a cougar awareness month, or better, let’s have a cougar awareness life! Yes, these women can do many other things too, but do not marginalize the loving. In a world with so much mature and harmless longing, there is no reason for stinginess. There are pure rivers that whisper, do not suffer thirst for I am nearby. Open your eyes and notice, then share.   Read More

Questionable Beliefs About Love

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How many beliefs about love are worth their upkeep and defense? Many beliefs rest on circumstances that must change, after all, that is what circumstances do. When we seek particular ‘results’ we turn our lovers into a means to an imagined end and measure success or failure accordingly. Why should we adapt our beliefs to the facts around us when we can try to manipulate people instead? When we manipulate, we tempt lovers to lie to us, if only a lie of omission, so they… Read More