Go Beyond Jealousy

Todd VickersI want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, … Read More

Review The Relevance of Kabir FREE | The Relevance of Kabir

Regularly a $6.99 Download NOW for FREE  before the January 2016 talks in India. Please leave honest reviews at your favourite book sites .   Excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir Belief, right …

Source: Review The Relevance … Read More

Stop Crashing Into Lovers

noshameinsex.comTodd Vickers writing for Street Articles.

“The question we’re considering here – How to avoid the terrible and unnecessary emotional conflict arising from fictional ideas about others or ourselves? Anyone with a functioning mind … Read More

What Death Teaches Us About Lovers, Friends And Family

Todd VickersTodd Vickers Published at Street Articles

Excerpt below

“We miss higher values if we habitually (unconsciously) judge according to goals. A dear friend, who I will call Gregg, described meeting a young woman. On … Read More

Cheating and Honest Non-Monogamy

pink vest2I recently shared food with two women who both cheated on past lovers and felt pain about their conduct. Both now live candidly in non-monogamous circumstances and feel better for the change. I know non-monogamous men who … Read More

She Lives in Secret

Secret Woman 2We can’t pick her out of a crowd, she who lives in secret. As the eyes of her teachers stabbed with disapproval, she learned to show what they would not condemn. And sometimes her sisters were as mean. … Read More

Is Monogamy Over? A Reply

The headline ‘Is monogamy over?’ emblazoned TIME Magazine’s September 21, 2015 issue.

Feeling skeptical, I bought it. Its brevity trifled with the subject.

TIMEcover girlsBiologist David Barash has suggested that monogamy conflicts with our biology. However, he … Read More

Sex-Pats in Cambodia

JodiAccording to my friend, George, the American proverb that “even blind pigs can find an occasional acorn” is understated in Cambodia. “The ‘Kingdom Of Wonder’ – as Cambodia is advertised by the tourism board … Read More

Art as Metaphor for Love

Giulio_Romano_-_The_Lovers_-_WGA09611When art conforms to our ideals of beauty, we call it beautiful. We go beyond our present categories when we ask, ‘can anything beautiful exist beyond my ideas about beauty?’ I answer, YES!

Art throughout history … Read More

A Mental Spectre of Self and Orgasm

The Relevance of Kabir“If we can’t let go of our self, orgasm becomes difficult. In the ecstasy of love, the mental spectre of our self becomes unsustainable. We live without a story for a few … Read More

Read-Darwinian Gender Studies

Otto_Scholderer_Lesendes_MädchenBy Paula Wright

Unpoisoning the Well

In my research, I interrogate orthodox feminist concepts, such as patriarchy, objectification, gender power differentials, mating systems and psychosexual differences using humour and evolutionary explanatory models such as sexual … Read More

5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

Let’s Sketch of a Clasiclook at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas.

Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses … Read More

Friendly Sexual Connections

Newest CartThe benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda invoke our sexual instincts. A chicken broods on a wooden egg and … Read More

Read About Sexual Pitfalls at Elephant Journal

Thinking WomanTodd’s newest article is now live at Elephant Journal

How to Avoid 5 Sexual Pitfalls.

The goal here is to see flaws in our beliefs so we need not be punished … Read More

Gay in Cuba – Hardship and Love

Frank & TonyThe confrontation between Tony and the man who infected him, to protect others, touches the heart as does the whole article. Recommended Reading…

Two hours into our first meeting, I knew that Francisco … Read More

Non Monogamous Instinct


A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin.





Non Monogamous Instinct from NoShameInSex.Com

Poly Follies | The Exhibit and Talk

20150404_182101-1The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, I will broach several points mentioned during the talk.

We talked about … Read More

Saguaro Man | The Poly Follies Art

Chita n GreggWe’re off to Saguaro Man tomorrow. Seven pieces of Todd’s art will be on exhibit called Poly Follies at Center Camp. He will be doing a talk Saturday at Noon called Polyamory … Read More

Challenging Relationship Myths

Come HereIf you take the prediction and control out of commitment, what is left?

Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of justifications that failed. Before you buy another bag of magic beans, why … Read More

What is Sexual Excess?

The Relevance of KabirExcerpt from The Relevance of Kabir

“The word excessive means something when talking of salt, sex or any experience. Even water will kill you if you drink too much. When we … Read More

Mistaking Means for Ends in Love

Having-or-notMistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane dream-world that murders affection. A commitment necessarily views people as … Read More

Our Sexual Value Judgments

Yang_Guifei_Mounting_a_HorseThe way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems the best of circumstances. Often we mistake means for ends. In American … Read More

Forbidden Subjects

Todd VickersExcerpted from the introduction to The Relevance of Kabir. By Todd Vickers

Let us let go of taboos when encountering poems. A lyricist mixes metaphors like a cook making soup. Before you taste … Read More

Sexual Idealism

TorchAngelAs I do on many mornings, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. One day our conversation turned to the free love of the 1960s. … Read More

Couple Calls – By The Honest Courtesan

Eye2A couple call is different from a two-girl call in that the latter involves two professional women rather … Read More

A Retired Prostitute Helped Me

Todd VickersIn my new book, The Relevance of Kabir, I use a strong metaphor concerning prostitution to make a point about honesty and taboo subjects. Woody “Bee,” … Read More

The Relevance of Kabir – One Thousand Review Copies Free

The Relevance of KabirTodd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns & Noble and more. If you would like a free … Read More

Celebrate Mature Women, Who Want

Milf AwarenessHow about a cougar awareness month, or better, let’s have a cougar awareness life! Yes, these women can do many other things too, but do not marginalize the loving. In a world with so much mature … Read More

Questionable Beliefs About Love

ThreesomeHow many beliefs about love are worth their upkeep and defense? Many beliefs rest on circumstances that must change, after all, that is what circumstances do. When we seek particular ‘results’ we turn our lovers into … Read More

r0b1 Different Sex Podcast Todd Vickers Talks Issues of Polyamory

Rob Moore

Rob Moore interviews Todd Vickers on r0b1.com





Check out r0b1.com for more interviews and caring discussion about nontraditional relationships.

A Suggestive Holiday Greeting

Dude SantaMay you all have joyous titillation and sweetest affection this holiday season. Be your delights mild our wild, may your toes curl and your mind fall silent in ecstasy.

Remember you don’t need to … Read More

Lust Meaning, I’m on Fire

FireWoman5How to find your passion? If we remove what is lewd from the definition of lust, we get a fire of passion! Let’s stoke this fire, as hot as we like. Let us warm the whole house! … Read More

We Believed Lies About Commitments

Commitment Security

What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another  person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticatedRead More

The Risk of Sexual Suppression

We can break out of old sexual beliefs and restrictions without being destructive.

Any education about sex or sex book should include observations about restraint. Good sex is better when we are more informed.

The Folly of Slut Shaming

1 The FollyIf we define slut in a denigrating way. Slut meaning to imagine a woman is outside of the custom sexually. We suffer from lousy reasoning. See what the professor has to say about it.

Read More

Polyamorous Monsters of Imagination


Poly Monsters of Imagination from NoShameInSex.Com

New Arguments Against Abstinence Only Sex Education

My criticism of abstisex education (abstinence only sex education) rests on these grounds. Censored education is reckless because it suggests that young people will make better decisions by being uninformed. This idea is a felony against intellectual … Read More

Polyamory Going Beyond Rules

Because polyamory is about affection not control.


Polyamory – Going Beyond Rules from NoShameInSex.Com

How to Defend Our Sensuality, The Hippie in Us All

So Much BeautyI saw her in the temple, the same space that would be intentionally reduced to ashes in just a few hours. She was as nude as the day she first drew breath. The … Read More

The Problem of Polyamorous Expectations

Vecellio.Titian.The.loversBy Todd Vickers and Sharon Dalzell

The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a damn thing is wrong, but because the events are different than our expectations. The ability to let go of ideals … Read More

How to Let Go of Sexual Customs – Be Bold

Kings.ClergyThe honor we pay to fictional ideas about love and sex is simply customary, like the undeserved deference our ancestors felt they must pay to king and clergy. These ideas, even when false, have real power. Some … Read More

Interview with a Non-Monogamous Woman

MQuestionQ: You felt it necessary to be anonymous for this interview. I think it says something about our so-called freedom of speech. Why do you feel the need to be anonymous?

M: I live … Read More