I want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, … Read More
By Paula Wright
Unpoisoning the Well
In my research, I interrogate orthodox feminist concepts, such as patriarchy, objectification, gender power differentials, mating systems and psychosexual differences using humour and evolutionary explanatory models such as sexual … Read More
Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses … Read More
The benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda invoke our sexual instincts. A chicken broods on a wooden egg and … Read More
This is an excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir.
Click the link, go to the blog on the Kabir website and download the PDF in Hindi.
Two hours into our first meeting, I knew that Francisco … Read More
We talked about … Read More
Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of justifications that failed. Before you buy another bag of magic beans, why … Read More
“The word excessive means something when talking of salt, sex or any experience. Even water will kill you if you drink too much. When we … Read More
Mistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane dream-world that murders affection. A commitment necessarily views people as … Read More
The way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems the best of circumstances. Often we mistake means for ends. In American … Read More
Let us let go of taboos when encountering poems. A lyricist mixes metaphors like a cook making soup. Before you taste … Read More
As I do on many mornings, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. One day our conversation turned to the free love of the 1960s. … Read More
Todd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns & Noble and more. If you would like a free … Read More
How about a cougar awareness month, or better, let’s have a cougar awareness life! Yes, these women can do many other things too, but do not marginalize the loving. In a world with so much mature … Read More
How many beliefs about love are worth their upkeep and defense? Many beliefs rest on circumstances that must change, after all, that is what circumstances do. When we seek particular ‘results’ we turn our lovers into … Read More
Remember you don’t need to … Read More
How to find your passion? If we remove what is lewd from the definition of lust, we get a fire of passion! Let’s stoke this fire, as hot as we like. Let us warm the whole house! … Read More
What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticatedRead More
We can break out of old sexual beliefs and restrictions without being destructive.
Any education about sex or sex book should include observations about restraint. Good sex is better when we are more informed.
My criticism of abstisex education (abstinence only sex education) rests on these grounds. Censored education is reckless because it suggests that young people will make better decisions by being uninformed. This idea is a felony against intellectual … Read More
A wonderful PBS documentary about the Bonobo Ape. This make love not war, sex for joy sake creature, raises a question about ourselves. Not that we should live in trees. Though I’m … Read More
I saw her in the temple, the same space that would be intentionally reduced to ashes in just a few hours. She was as nude as the day she first drew breath. The … Read More
The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a damn thing is wrong, but because the events are different than our expectations. The ability to let go of ideals … Read More
The honor we pay to fictional ideas about love and sex is simply customary, like the undeserved deference our ancestors felt they must pay to king and clergy. These ideas, even when false, have real power. Some … Read More
M: I live … Read More
Many non-traditional folks carry conclusions that seem to rest on bias left over from tradition. For example, in a recent piece, Louisa Leontiades discussed applying the lessons of open relationships to monogamous relationships. I agree with her … Read More
In sexual relationships, consider the anguish of those that try everything they learned to do in order to succeed and still suffer. People often attempt what their contemporaries and therapists suggest, to create lasting relationships. Regardless … Read More
I am not saying that all casual sex is loving any more than I would say the same about all marriages. Our society’s blind spots around sex are worse because we tend to trust customs and … Read More
Why are we afraid to have sex with friends? We fear to fall from the heights of affection, and we have probably witnessed this happen. The reason for this fall is we start thinking in terms of … Read More
If you are wise and find it unacceptable when truth opposes a craving, you understand “integrity” serves no purpose unless it achieves our desire. Doubtless, some “square” will tell us this pragmatic approach supposes we don’t need … Read More
Sonja rolled her eyes slightly, “Oh yes. Men really get off on that … Read More
Is jealousy instinctive? Even if we assume it so, our ability to adapt beyond genetic limits is also natural. We do not grow new eyes; we create glasses and laser-surgery to make up for genetic flaws. Perhaps … Read More
Sexual Generosity goes beyond kindness and tolerance. Generosity seeks to improve the condition of others regardless of any return. Sexual generosity must include a far-reaching notion… that the joy of another is not a threat.
We distort our capacity to love others with reference to an imaginary future. We see ourselves in this story and believe we know what love will do for us. We use emotion to force others … Read More