Self and Orgasm

WEB Kabir Front CoverAn understanding through ecstasy.

“If we can’t let go of our self, orgasm becomes difficult. In the ecstasy of love, the mental … Read More

Beyond Satisfaction of Desire

surrender-2What would you choose, the experience of love being equal in both instances.

Love with truth

Love without truth

If the value … Read More

Stop admiring hypocrites


We risk losing some opportunities telling the truth. Regardless, the growth of a seed in a consciously sewn garden is not retarded by noxious weeds and briers … Read More

Go beyond cheating

Cheating ImageThis brief video looks at one of the mistaken value judgments hidden in the deceit of cheating.

A lie debases our longing for more joy and pollutes our morality. When we habitually use affections, including sexuality as a means, we forget those affections are something that makes life worth living, simply by themselves. This includes sexual affection for more than one other.

Let’s welcome sexuality in honesty.

Affections for their own sake is one of the things that make life worthwhile. Let’s not pretend sexual affection is unimportant when it is.

Non-monogamy, a growing morality

2A gift

The impulse to a more relaxed and open sexuality is not merely instinctive, but also moral. We see this … Read More

Facing facts, sex and climate change

Frog Viv adaptWhat do sex and climate change have in common? Both involve facts we sometimes feel tempted to ignore or alter them to … Read More

Social hypocrisy about sex

Cult Society“Our powers of conception come with a risk. Again, we use thought like paint on the canvas of our minds, using our fears and wants … Read More

Freedom to love

Free 2 LoveThe arguments in favor of sexual freedom rest on similar grounds as freedom of speech. Our love is part of our … Read More

Love instead of… Paintings at 2016 Saguaro Man

Painted Polyamory Problems

Probably the best way to illustrate what I’m doing with this art is to criticize it. One of the strongest objections to these paintings, they are all negative. They show problems, not solutions. Even the title of the show is negative – Love instead … Read More

Slut shaming – How men can stop it

EJ Slut ShameAuthor Todd Vickers writes at Elephant Journal and looks critically at slut shaming.

The good things … Read More

Controlling crowds with sex

Sexy Ad'sThose with influence and interest will try to deny access to rainwater and then either sell it back to us or … Read More

Todd talks beliefs about sex at

AdaptRead the points and the excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir.

Let us differentiate the inestimable benefits of accumulated knowledge from … Read More

Sex contrary to our beliefs

truer beliefsIf we were born elsewhere or in another time, we would have different beliefs including beliefs about sex. We have no obligation to … Read More

Monogamy is not virtue

Not VirtueBefore considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of … Read More

Three reasons sex is confusing

VegasSex doesn’t oppose truth. Delusion opposes truth. Delusion is different than having or not having sex.

  • People often withhold the truth … Read More
  • Sexual understanding or rebellion

    ThePrudeDistinguish between sexual conformity, rebellion and hypocrisy. The conformist and rebel obey or disobey by degree, but the rule is the governing ideal. The hypocrite knows he … Read More

    Don’t blame sex

    DisapointmentSex is an event like an eclipse. Beliefs about events confuse us because beliefs induce emotions and changes in our behavior. … Read More

    Jealousy – a short video

    JealousPhoneAshwini asks author Todd Vickers to discuss jealousy. View the video and for more, check out our other … Read More

    How you love is up to you

    The question is not what form the love takes but THAT we love consciously.

    Love is not a routine and cannot be reduced to a preconceived idea without killing it.

    ProhibitionRead More

    Questioning Monogamy

    Every time someone cheats, every monogamous person who doesn’t consider purchased or oral sex and so on to be cheating, we have reason to question monogamy.

    Monogamy IdealRead More

    An unsatisfied selfish demand

    An expectation is not the measure of abuse.

    How do we know if we are a victim?

    Not a Victim

    Sex relationship myths

    Sex Myths

    Our difficulty with sexual relationships may not be a defect in ourselves or others but rather a problem born of … Read More

    Sexual obsession is relating to the mind

    3J6B1570Here is a video I recently made in India. Ashwini asked about sexual obsession. In India obsession sometimes leads to acid attacks. If you like the … Read More

    Review The Relevance of Kabir FREE | The Relevance of Kabir

    Regularly a $6.99 Download NOW for FREE  before the January 2016 talks in India. Please leave honest reviews at your favourite book sites .   Excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir Belief, right …

    Source: Review The Relevance … Read More

    Stop Crashing Into Lovers

    noshameinsex.comTodd Vickers writing for Street Articles.

    “The question we’re considering here – How to avoid the terrible and unnecessary emotional conflict arising … Read More

    What Death Teaches Us About Lovers, Friends And Family

    Todd VickersTodd Vickers Published at Street Articles

    Excerpt below

    “We miss higher values if we habitually (unconsciously) judge according to goals. A dear friend, who I will … Read More

    Cheating and Honest Non-Monogamy

    pink vest2I recently shared food with two women who both cheated on past lovers and felt pain about their conduct. Both now live candidly in non-monogamous circumstances and … Read More

    She Lives in Secret

    Secret Woman 2We can’t pick her out of a crowd, she who lives in secret. As the eyes of her teachers stabbed with disapproval, she learned … Read More

    Is Monogamy Over? A Reply

    TIMEcover girlsThe headline ‘Is monogamy over?’ emblazoned TIME Magazine’s September 21, 2015 issue.

    Feeling skeptical, I bought it. Its brevity trifled with the subject.

    Biologist … Read More

    Sex-Pats in Cambodia

    JodiAccording to my friend, George, the American proverb that “even blind pigs can find an occasional acorn” is understated in Cambodia. “The ‘Kingdom Of Wonder’ – as Cambodia is advertised by the tourism board … Read More

    Art as Metaphor for Love

    Giulio_Romano_-_The_Lovers_-_WGA09611When art conforms to our ideals of beauty, we call it beautiful. We go beyond our present categories when we ask, ‘can anything beautiful … Read More

    Read-Darwinian Gender Studies

    Otto_Scholderer_Lesendes_MädchenBy Paula Wright

    Unpoisoning the Well

    In my research, I interrogate orthodox feminist concepts, such as patriarchy, objectification, gender power differentials, mating systems and psychosexual … Read More

    5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

    Let’s Sketch of a Clasiclook at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas.

    Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses … Read More

    Friendly Sexual Connections

    Newest CartThe benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda … Read More

    Read About Sexual Pitfalls at Elephant Journal

    Thinking WomanTodd’s newest article is now live at Elephant Journal

    How to Avoid 5 Sexual Pitfalls.

    The goal here is … Read More

    Gay in Cuba – Hardship and Love

    Frank & TonyThe confrontation between Tony and the man who infected him, to protect others, touches the heart as does the whole article. Recommended … Read More

    Non Monogamous Instinct


    A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin.





    Read More

    Poly Follies | The Exhibit and Talk

    20150404_182101-1The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, … Read More

    Saguaro Man | The Poly Follies Art

    Chita n GreggWe’re off to Saguaro Man tomorrow. Seven pieces of Todd’s art will be on exhibit called Poly Follies at Center … Read More

    Challenging Relationship Myths

    Come HereIf you take the prediction and control out of commitment, what is left?

    Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of … Read More