Go Beyond Jealousy

Todd VickersI want to talk about identity as perhaps the most important and often overlooked part of going beyond jealousy. Let us ask “who” gets jealous. If we will look at our own self-concept, … Read More

Mistaking Means for Ends in Love

Having-or-notMistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane dream-world that murders affection. A commitment necessarily views people as … Read More

Our Sexual Value Judgments

Yang_Guifei_Mounting_a_HorseThe way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems the best of circumstances. Often we mistake means for ends. In American … Read More

Forbidden Subjects

Todd VickersExcerpted from the introduction to The Relevance of Kabir. By Todd Vickers

Let us let go of taboos when encountering poems. A lyricist mixes metaphors like a cook making soup. Before you taste … Read More

Sexual Idealism

TorchAngelAs I do on many mornings, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. One day our conversation turned to the free love of the 1960s. … Read More

Couple Calls – By The Honest Courtesan

Eye2A couple call is different from a two-girl call in that the latter involves two professional women rather … Read More

A Retired Prostitute Helped Me

Todd VickersIn my new book, The Relevance of Kabir, I use a strong metaphor concerning prostitution to make a point about honesty and taboo subjects. Woody “Bee,” … Read More

The Relevance of Kabir – One Thousand Review Copies Free

The Relevance of KabirTodd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns & Noble and more. If you would like a free … Read More

Celebrate Mature Women, Who Want

Milf AwarenessHow about a cougar awareness month, or better, let’s have a cougar awareness life! Yes, these women can do many other things too, but do not marginalize the loving. In a world with so much mature … Read More

Questionable Beliefs About Love

ThreesomeHow many beliefs about love are worth their upkeep and defense? Many beliefs rest on circumstances that must change, after all, that is what circumstances do. When we seek particular ‘results’ we turn our lovers into … Read More

r0b1 Different Sex Podcast Todd Vickers Talks Issues of Polyamory

Rob Moore

Rob Moore interviews Todd Vickers on r0b1.com

 

 

 

 

Check out r0b1.com for more interviews and caring discussion about nontraditional relationships.

A Suggestive Holiday Greeting

Dude SantaMay you all have joyous titillation and sweetest affection this holiday season. Be your delights mild our wild, may your toes curl and your mind fall silent in ecstasy.

Remember you don’t need to … Read More

Lust Meaning, I’m on Fire

FireWoman5How to find your passion? If we remove what is lewd from the definition of lust, we get a fire of passion! Let’s stoke this fire, as hot as we like. Let us warm the whole house! … Read More

We Believed Lies About Commitments

Commitment Security

What is commitment? If we say it is dedication to a cause or activity remember another  person is not an idea or something we do. When humans became domesticatedRead More

The Risk of Sexual Suppression

We can break out of old sexual beliefs and restrictions without being destructive.

Any education about sex or sex book should include observations about restraint. Good sex is better when we are more informed.

The Folly of Slut Shaming

1 The FollyIf we define slut in a denigrating way. Slut meaning to imagine a woman is outside of the custom sexually. We suffer from lousy reasoning. See what the professor has to say about it.

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Polyamorous Monsters of Imagination

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Poly Monsters of Imagination from NoShameInSex.Com

New Arguments Against Abstinence Only Sex Education

My criticism of abstisex education (abstinence only sex education) rests on these grounds. Censored education is reckless because it suggests that young people will make better decisions by being uninformed. This idea is a felony against intellectual … Read More

Polyamory Going Beyond Rules

Because polyamory is about affection not control.

 
 
 
 

Polyamory – Going Beyond Rules from NoShameInSex.Com

How to Defend Our Sensuality, The Hippie in Us All

So Much BeautyI saw her in the temple, the same space that would be intentionally reduced to ashes in just a few hours. She was as nude as the day she first drew breath. The … Read More

The Problem of Polyamorous Expectations

Vecellio.Titian.The.loversBy Todd Vickers and Sharon Dalzell

The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a damn thing is wrong, but because the events are different than our expectations. The ability to let go of ideals … Read More

How to Let Go of Sexual Customs – Be Bold

Kings.ClergyThe honor we pay to fictional ideas about love and sex is simply customary, like the undeserved deference our ancestors felt they must pay to king and clergy. These ideas, even when false, have real power. Some … Read More

Interview with a Non-Monogamous Woman

MQuestionQ: You felt it necessary to be anonymous for this interview. I think it says something about our so-called freedom of speech. Why do you feel the need to be anonymous?

M: I live … Read More

The Polyamorous Caravan – Part Two

Huguet_A-Caravan-Crossing-The-DesertMany non-traditional folks carry conclusions that seem to rest on bias left over from tradition. For example, in a recent piece, Louisa Leontiades discussed applying the lessons of open relationships to monogamous relationships. I agree with her … Read More

The Polyamorous Caravan – Part One

Benwell_Caravan-with-the-Pyramids-and-Sphinx-beyondIn sexual relationships, consider the anguish of those that try everything they learned to do in order to succeed and still suffer. People often attempt what their contemporaries and therapists suggest, to create lasting relationships. Regardless … Read More

Can Casual Sex Be Loving? Yes, It Can.

Sexual DiscoveryI am not saying that all casual sex is loving any more than I would say the same about all marriages. Our society’s blind spots around sex are worse because we tend to trust customs and … Read More

Having Sex with Friends

LadyWhy are we afraid to have sex with friends? We fear to fall from the heights of affection, and we have probably witnessed this happen. The reason for this fall is we start thinking in terms of … Read More

People want Sex like fast food

The DunceIf you are wise and find it unacceptable when truth opposes a craving, you understand “integrity” serves no purpose unless it achieves our desire. Doubtless, some “square” will tell us this pragmatic approach supposes we don’t need … Read More

Female Ejaculation – Learning to Squirt

HeelsAs soon as we’d ordered lunch at the local Japanese restaurant I launched into my story of the week. “I’ve just discovered female ejaculation.”

Sonja rolled her eyes slightly, “Oh yes. Men really get off on that … Read More

Stop excusing jealousy as natural

Many HeartsIs jealousy instinctive? Even if we assume it so, our ability to adapt beyond genetic limits is also natural. We do not grow new eyes; we create glasses and laser-surgery to make up for genetic flaws. Perhaps … Read More

Sexual Generosity

Sexual Generosity goes beyond kindness and tolerance. Generosity seeks to improve the condition of others regardless of any return. Sexual generosity must include a far-reaching notion… that the joy of another is not a threat.

Three Lovers | ... <a class=Read More

We Lose When We Withhold Love

NarcissusWe distort our capacity to love others with reference to an imaginary future. We see ourselves in this story and believe we know what love will do for us. We use emotion to force others … Read More

Prostitution can be bad, neutral, or good!

NudeOur society suffers an epidemic of people seeking their own ends at the expense of others. Do not exclude the everyday folks outside of public view. Workaday people can make decisions or carry out boardroom … Read More

When We Explore Sexual Kindness

Pandore Wikimedia CommonsWe will probably face fear or prejudice, including our own, when we dare to cross the frontiers of personal and social bias to explore sexual kindness. We hold dear, protect and … Read More

How I Had A Big Ass Conversion

Todd SketchBy Todd Vickers

At times, the wonders of curvy women seem overlooked. This regrettable fad harms both men and women and I hope my experience will help open some minds. However, stating any … Read More

How a Man Discusses Sex in the Shadow of Sexism

Benjamin West - Cymon and Iphigenia 1766A man risks the accusation, sometimes correctly, of objectifying women when discussing either sexual joy or desire. Male shaming may occur even if the focus is … Read More

How I Found My Orgasm, Then Started Cumming in Color

Sharon DalzellBy Sharon Dalzell

At twenty five I had yet to experience an orgasm try as I might with a willing partner. I was fed up with wondering what the big fuss was about sex. … Read More

Cathartic Orgasms

Gustave Doré : AndromedaBy Mistress J

The first time I ever saw a cathartic orgasm I was quite concerned.  Should I ring the ambulance or hope it passes?  ‘Cathartic orgasm’, by the … Read More

Commitment Involves Prediction

LargeLeftSideGirlPeople believe there can be no love in a relationship without some forecast.

As if, biological or emotional aspects of human beings mysteriously cease to function without prediction.

When we consider the many failures … Read More

Confessions of a Female Sex Tourist

Jodi HansonThe fact that it took me almost twenty five years to realize I was a female sex tourist is not a defense.

Check the screaming tabloids and anti-prostitution literature to confirm that sex tourism … Read More

Different Faces of Jealousy

Battle for a Woman  Jealousy needs to be distinguished from envy as the fear of losing a person viewed as a possession. Envy springs from desire for things or people possessed … Read More

How to Deal With Jealousy

Hercules | Effects of JealousyMenacing Emotions of Jealousy

Pleasures rendered harmless through intelligence can liberate wonderful unnoticed possibilities. When a person desires more than one lover that longing probably will not … Read More