Self and Orgasm

WEB Kabir Front CoverAn understanding through ecstasy.

“If we can’t let go of our self, orgasm becomes difficult. In the ecstasy of love, the mental … Read More

Controlling crowds with sex

Sexy Ad'sThose with influence and interest will try to deny access to rainwater and then either sell it back to us or … Read More

Todd talks beliefs about sex at

AdaptRead the points and the excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir.

Let us differentiate the inestimable benefits of accumulated knowledge from … Read More

Sex contrary to our beliefs

truer beliefsIf we were born elsewhere or in another time, we would have different beliefs including beliefs about sex. We have no obligation to … Read More

Monogamy is not virtue

Not VirtueBefore considering sexuality let’s remember, if we have a prejudice, we might feel uncomfortable seeing others going beyond the limits of … Read More

Three reasons sex is confusing

VegasSex doesn’t oppose truth. Delusion opposes truth. Delusion is different than having or not having sex.

  • People often withhold the truth … Read More
  • Sexual understanding or rebellion

    ThePrudeDistinguish between sexual conformity, rebellion and hypocrisy. The conformist and rebel obey or disobey by degree, but the rule is the governing ideal. The hypocrite knows he … Read More

    Don’t blame sex

    DisapointmentSex is an event like an eclipse. Beliefs about events confuse us because beliefs induce emotions and changes in our behavior. … Read More

    Jealousy – a short video

    JealousPhoneAshwini asks author Todd Vickers to discuss jealousy. View the video and for more, check out our other … Read More

    How you love is up to you

    The question is not what form the love takes but THAT we love consciously.

    Love is not a routine and cannot be reduced to a preconceived idea without killing it.

    ProhibitionRead More

    Questioning Monogamy

    Every time someone cheats, every monogamous person who doesn’t consider purchased or oral sex and so on to be cheating, we have reason to question monogamy.

    Monogamy IdealRead More

    An unsatisfied selfish demand

    An expectation is not the measure of abuse.

    How do we know if we are a victim?

    Not a Victim

    Sex relationship myths

    Sex Myths

    Our difficulty with sexual relationships may not be a defect in ourselves or others but rather a problem born of … Read More

    Sexual obsession is relating to the mind

    3J6B1570Here is a video I recently made in India. Ashwini asked about sexual obsession. In India obsession sometimes leads to acid attacks. If you like the … Read More

    Review The Relevance of Kabir FREE | The Relevance of Kabir

    Regularly a $6.99 Download NOW for FREE  before the January 2016 talks in India. Please leave honest reviews at your favourite book sites .   Excerpt from The Relevance of Kabir Belief, right …

    Source: Review The Relevance … Read More

    Stop Crashing Into Lovers

    noshameinsex.comTodd Vickers writing for Street Articles.

    “The question we’re considering here – How to avoid the terrible and unnecessary emotional conflict arising … Read More

    What Death Teaches Us About Lovers, Friends And Family

    Todd VickersTodd Vickers Published at Street Articles

    Excerpt below

    “We miss higher values if we habitually (unconsciously) judge according to goals. A dear friend, who I will … Read More

    Cheating and Honest Non-Monogamy

    pink vest2I recently shared food with two women who both cheated on past lovers and felt pain about their conduct. Both now live candidly in non-monogamous circumstances and … Read More

    She Lives in Secret

    Secret Woman 2We can’t pick her out of a crowd, she who lives in secret. As the eyes of her teachers stabbed with disapproval, she learned … Read More

    Is Monogamy Over? A Reply

    TIMEcover girlsThe headline ‘Is monogamy over?’ emblazoned TIME Magazine’s September 21, 2015 issue.

    Feeling skeptical, I bought it. Its brevity trifled with the subject.

    Biologist … Read More

    Sex-Pats in Cambodia

    JodiAccording to my friend, George, the American proverb that “even blind pigs can find an occasional acorn” is understated in Cambodia. “The ‘Kingdom Of Wonder’ – as Cambodia is advertised by the tourism board … Read More

    Art as Metaphor for Love

    Giulio_Romano_-_The_Lovers_-_WGA09611When art conforms to our ideals of beauty, we call it beautiful. We go beyond our present categories when we ask, ‘can anything beautiful … Read More

    Read-Darwinian Gender Studies

    Otto_Scholderer_Lesendes_MädchenBy Paula Wright

    Unpoisoning the Well

    In my research, I interrogate orthodox feminist concepts, such as patriarchy, objectification, gender power differentials, mating systems and psychosexual … Read More

    5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

    Let’s Sketch of a Clasiclook at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas.

    Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses … Read More

    Friendly Sexual Connections

    Newest CartThe benefits of plural and open sexual friendships cannot be measured nor should the benefits be underestimated. Consider how often commercials and political propaganda … Read More

    Read About Sexual Pitfalls at Elephant Journal

    Thinking WomanTodd’s newest article is now live at Elephant Journal

    How to Avoid 5 Sexual Pitfalls.

    The goal here is … Read More

    Gay in Cuba – Hardship and Love

    Frank & TonyThe confrontation between Tony and the man who infected him, to protect others, touches the heart as does the whole article. Recommended … Read More

    Non Monogamous Instinct


    A little slide show examining common views about non-monogamy. The sexual revolution has yet to begin.





    Read More

    Poly Follies | The Exhibit and Talk

    20150404_182101-1The talk “Polyamory Without Pathos” at Saguaro Man went well. Such a deep subject is impossible to delve into properly in just an hour. Below, … Read More

    Saguaro Man | The Poly Follies Art

    Chita n GreggWe’re off to Saguaro Man tomorrow. Seven pieces of Todd’s art will be on exhibit called Poly Follies at Center … Read More

    Challenging Relationship Myths

    Come HereIf you take the prediction and control out of commitment, what is left?

    Moreover, every disappointed commitment is built on a set of … Read More

    What is Sexual Excess?

    The Relevance of KabirExcerpt from The Relevance of Kabir

    “The word excessive means something when talking of salt, sex or any experience. Even water … Read More

    Mistaking Means for Ends in Love

    Having-or-notMistaking means for ends in love is one of the worst and common mistakes. What we learned about love often makes our love pretentious, an insane … Read More

    Our Sexual Value Judgments

    Yang_Guifei_Mounting_a_HorseThe way we learn to judge our sex partners is questionable. We see our bias whenever ideal partnerships break up in spite of what seems … Read More

    Forbidden Subjects

    Todd VickersExcerpted from the introduction to The Relevance of Kabir. By Todd Vickers

    Let us let go of taboos when encountering poems. A lyricist mixes metaphors … Read More

    Sexual Idealism

    TorchAngelAs I do on many mornings, I discuss with my beloved Sharon various topics, including sex, the morning news and our plans for the day. … Read More

    Couple Calls – By The Honest Courtesan

    Eye2A couple call is different from … Read More

    A Retired Prostitute Helped Me

    Todd VickersIn my new book, The Relevance of Kabir, I use a strong metaphor concerning prostitution to make a … Read More

    The Relevance of Kabir – One Thousand Review Copies Free

    The Relevance of KabirTodd Vickers published The Relevance of Kabir at Smashwords. This eBook will soon be available at your favorite stores like Amazon, Barns … Read More

    Celebrate Mature Women, Who Want

    Milf AwarenessHow about a cougar awareness month, or better, let’s have a cougar awareness life! Yes, these women can do many other things too, but … Read More

    Questionable Beliefs About Love

    ThreesomeHow many beliefs about love are worth their upkeep and defense? Many beliefs rest on circumstances that must change, after all, that is what … Read More